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3 Important Life Skills Nobody Ever Taught You



3 Important Life Skills Nobody Ever Taught You
Now, let's pretend that we're having one of those intimate heart-to-heart conversations that we all ideally imagine having with our fathers. Maybe we're sipping beers on the back patio, listening to the crickets and watching the moon slowly find the horizon.


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Stop Taking Things Personally

Stop Taking Things Personally
  • When people criticize you or reject you, it has way more to do with them,(their values, their priorities, their life situation) than it does with you.
  • When something you do fails, it doesn’t mean you are a failure as a person; you are a person who happens to fail sometimes.
  • When something tragic happens and you suffer, remember that hardship is part of choosing to live.

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Why we hold on to our beliefs

Why we hold on to our beliefs

Our beliefs are not simply ideas that we hold to be true; they make up key components of our identity. 

And to question those beliefs means to fundamentally question who we are as a person, which is really painful.

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Being wrong

Being wrong

You’re going to be wrong a lot in life. You’re going to be wrong pretty much all of the time. 

And in many ways, your ability to succeed and learn over the long-term is directly proportional to your ability to change what you believe in response to your ignorance and mistakes.

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Add some chaos to your life

Add some chaos to your life

We avoid acting in uncertainty. And because we cannot act on what we don’t know, our lives become incredibly repetitive and safe.

A certain amount of chaos is healthy. It stimulates growth and change and passion and excitement.

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"It's important to make the individual you are speaking with feel heard and understood. If you're not engaged in t..."

Julie Holmes - life coach

Technology And Conversations

Your environment affects your personal relationships. Technologies like social media are making conversations harder and less engaging. But getting rid of it isn't necessarily the cure-all for most of our social interactions.

 If you have you've been feeling disconnected you can develop your conversational skills if you persist.

Become An Active Listener

Be engaged and listen to what they are saying. Show interest, ask questions and clarifications. This shows others that you care about what they are saying, and about them in the bigger picture.

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Challenges To Listening

  • We have many things screaming for our attention every minute of the day and we often trick ourselves into believing they’re more important than a conversation unfolding right in front o...

The Importance Of Proper Listening

With proper listening you’ll have a crystal clear understanding of the conversation and demonstrate to speakers that you’re invested in what they have to say.

Being a good listener is one of the most potent things you can do to increase your influence and likeability. It is also one of the top skills employers seek in potential and current employees, and it’s correlated with perceived ability to lead.

How To Be A Better Listener

  1. Push other activities from your mind, and be present in the discussion. This tells the other person that you’re ready for the conversation.
  2. Keep a neutral expression that simply says, “I’m listening.” We tend to physically react to what we hear and it disrupts our ability to listen and the other person’s ability to be heard. 
  3. Offer uninterrupted speaking time. Well-intended or not, interruptions makes effective communication impossible. 
  4. Repeat back succinctly and ask validating questions to make sure you heard the speaker correctly.

How To Be An Active Listener

  1. Ignore internal and external distractions (thoughts and sounds).
  2. Listen to the content of their speech and their specific wording
  3. Listen to ...

Selective Listening

Means to focus on a few key words and ignore the rest of someone's communication. 

It often manifests as one gets distracted by external stimuli like random sounds or movements, and internal stimuli such as one's own thoughts and feelings.

Active Listening

Means to fully concentrate on what is being said rather than passively absorbing it

It's not just remembering the content of what was said, but using empathy and seeking to understand the complete message, including the emotional tones conveyed. It builds rapport, understanding and trust.