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Finding Courage by Accepting Vulnerability

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-meaning-in-life-s-struggles/201501/finding-courage-accepting-vulnerability

psychologytoday.com

Finding Courage by Accepting Vulnerability
"The kick is no good!" As the announcer's shocked voice was heard across the nation, Jordan Williamson's life was drastically altered. The highly recruited high school star, once lofty in the college football world as Stanford University's star kicker, had suddenly fallen to earth. His landing was hard.

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The "loser" story of Jordan Williamson

Jordan Williamson, the highly recruited high school star and once lofty in the college football world as Stanford University's star kicker, missed twice during a football game and cost the team the game.

In the locker room, Jordan wept uncontrollably.

"For months I was depressed and did not want to go out in public."

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How a "loser" became a "winner"

"I decided to stop hiding and acknowledge what had happened... I showed my scars and let it be known to everyone that I was accepting reality. By showing my vulnerability it seemed that society, for the most part, put the negativity to rest. While the pain was still there, it was much more dim. I showed myself and others that I accepted myself as a human being who is not perfect and makes mistakes and sometimes fails miserably. This was the beginning of my healing." -  Jordan Williamson

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"The first step, perhaps, is to take stock. Who are you? When you buy a house and prepare to live in it, you hire an inspector to list all its faults–as it is, in reality, now, not as you wish it could be. You’ll even pay him for the bad news. You need to know. You need to discover the home’s hidden flaws. You need to know whether they are cosmetic imperfections or structural inadequacies. You need to know because you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken–and you’re broken. You need an inspector. The internal critic–it could play that role, if you could get it on track; if you and it could cooperate."

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Jordan Belfort's life

... was modelled by Leonardo DiCaprio in the 2013

Lessons from the real Belfort

  • The importance of thinking big. "Belfort thinks very big, he talks in very big numbers."
  • The dangers of instant gratification. "people say ‘well instead of an inch how can I get a mile,’ and often times they’ll sacrifice honesty, integrity, whatever it is within their moral compass that will allow them to get there quickly.”
  • Most people will go through a disassembling.“If you aren’t experiencing pain you don’t question reality and seek different ways of going about things.”
  • Whatever it is that disassembles is typically linked to our highest values. For example, if money is of the highest value in your life, as it was for Jordan Belfort, the ego around money must dissolve. Same goes for relationships, or whatever you value most in life.

Looking At The Big Picture

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Values: What do I like to do? What brings out my best?
  • Vision: How do I want to grow? What do I want to create for myself?

"Incremental efforts add up. You don’t have to do a big dramatic thing to make progress. What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while."

"Incremental efforts add up. You don’t have to do a big dramatic thing to make progress. What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while."

Don’t Wait Until You’re Unhappy

We tend to only do something about our careers when we have a problem. But if you wait until you’re laid off or dissatisfied, you may take action but it won’t feel authentic.

A better way is to look at multiple factors and work on them consistently even when you feel satisfied at your job.