Charisma 101

Charm is "the power or quality of giving delight or arousing admiration."

Simplified, "the ability to make people happy or approve of you."

Every single person has the ability to make others happy. Every single person has charm, and therefore charisma.

Like with every other aspect of life, people have varying levels of charisma.

Attractiveness is "the possession of qualities or features that arouse interest."

Those who are commonly thought of as attractive are the rich, the good-looking, and the famous. They posses attractive qualities. Wealth, looks, fame.

The most attractive traits are good hygiene and confidence. All traits can be cultivated and built up on.

You'd probably be more effortlessly charismatic around your friends than you would be around the President of Mexico.

You know how to make your friends happy. They already find you and your company enjoyable. You don't know the President. You don't know how to make them happy. To the President, you are no more or less enjoyable than any other face in the crowd.

Charisma depends on the person and situation. If you feel like you're not being charismatic, you simply haven't figured out how to make the people around you happy in an effective way.

People tend to disagree on the types of charisma that exist. I've found there to be 3.

• Competent
• Relatable
• Enticing

Those who know what they're doing. Someone who is good at their job or has knowledge on a topic you find interesting or important.

Build competence by familiarizing yourself with things related to your job and community. Practice reading comprehension and pick up a philosophy book.

The easiest way to appear competent is to listen more than you talk.

Those who are similar to others. Someone you can find common ground with.

We both wear glasses, we both work in retail, we both like coffee. There isn't a single person alive or dead who has absolutely nothing in common with you. At the very least, you both have flesh and bone.

Pay more attention to those in your life. What do you have in common with the bus driver? Your mother? What makes the strangers around you less strange?

Those who have things others desire. Someone who represents or offers a more interesting life.

The enticing type is the one we initially think of when we think of charisma. The wealthy, good-looking, and famous are examples of this. They live the lives we want. They have the things we want. They are the people we want to be.

Figure out what you want in life, and then the steps to get it. When you have the life you want, others will see that and want it as well.

• Everyone has charisma
• Charisma is a skill that can be developed
• The level of charisma someone has varries based on the situation