The Courage to Be Disliked

Name: The Courage to Be Disliked
Author: Varsha Das

Ichiro Kishimi,

Fumitake Koga

7 ideas

362 reads

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Intro

The world that seems complicated and mysterious, is not so if you change the lens with which you see the world.
People can change, people can find happiness and that is what requires courage, a lot of awareness , a lot of human understanding.
Adler - Austrian physicist - gave Adlerian psychology - he devoted his life researching humans and their latent capabilities - his ideas 100 years ahead of time.
Aetiology - study of cause and effect - the world in which we live in usually - because of something in past, we are facing XYZ issues. Teleology - study of purpose of something than its cause.

69 reads

You are not controlled by the past

We fabricate negative emotions and attribute them to past trauma or phenomenon. We determine our own present lives by what meaning we give to past experiences.
People fabricate anger in order to fulfil the goal of something. Like you intentionally get angry so that you get the privilege to shout at someone. Anger is a tool taken out when needed.
If you continue to stay in aetiology, you will be bound by the past and never be able to find happiness.
Awareness begins by knowing oneself. The most important thing is not what one is born with but what makes use of that equipment.

59 reads

Change is the only constant

People are unable to change because change is scary to them. It is easier to stay put in the comfort zone than to seek uncertainty by trying out new things. Basically people lack the courage to choose a new and better lifestyle to get over their past complaints. They lack courage to change their lifestyle and be happy. Period.
Living in the here and now determines your life. Forget trauma and all your emotional baggage in the past.

53 reads

What if you stayed alone?

All our life problems would cease to exist if we started staying alone. It is all because of the interpersonal relations with one another that we are so bogged down by problems. Example - fear of being disliked by people or getting hurt by someone.
People assume they are inferior because of being afraid of being judged by others. The subjective feelings of inferiority arise through comparison with others.

49 reads

Inferiority complex and feelings of inferiority are different

The latter helps you in wanting to improve yourself and head towards your goals, hence it is a normal feeling.

Inferiority complex is an abnormal state of mind where you begin to use your weaknesses as an excuse to do or not do something.

A is the situation thus B cannot be done.

Truth is you don't have enough courage to change yourself because you are complacent with the way you are today.

Easier with things just as the way they are, even if you have some complaints.

41 reads

Why do people show off?

Usually if you are lacking certain things you would want to compensate for it through striving and growth.

But those who don't have courage to do so step into the inferiority complex.

These stubborn feelings of inferiority, if harboured for a long time can lead to something opposite - the superiority complex.

People start fabricating feelings of superiority and start to compensate in some other fashion by establishing authority over others.

They show off so that their shortcomings can be obscured and they can appear to be special.

41 reads

The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.

ADLER

50 reads

IDEAS CURATED BY

Varsha Das

@varshadas

Every book is a journey, and I'm here to invite you to join me on the adventure of a thousand words.

CURATOR'S NOTE

Eye-opening guide on how to find real happiness in life

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