The Courage to Be Disliked Summary 2023 - Deepstash

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The Courage to Be Disliked Summary

About The Courage to Be Disliked Book

A single book can change your life. Already an enormous bestseller in Asia, with more than 3 million copies sold, The Courage to be Disliked demonstrates how to unlock the power within yourself to be the person you truly want to be. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, it follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher explains to his pupil how each of us is able to determine our own lives, free of the shackles of past experiences, doubts and the expectations of others. It's a way of thinking that's deeply liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change, and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves. The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom. Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English, so can you

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The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga

4.3/5 (0720 reviews)

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Learn to not care

Learn to sperate the tasks.

  1. Do not care what people think of you. Thinking about you is their task. Your task is to be what you are. Do not act according to people. Wear what you want. eat what you want, go where you want.
  2. Do not interrupt in others' tasks. All problems you have are because of not seperating the tasks. Telling others what to eat, where to go, when to sleep, what to do is none of your jobs.


Deny the Desire For Recognition

You may have the desire to be known, to be famous right? Suppose you clean up the road daily, and no one even sees you, no one praises you. What do you do? You stop? So didn't you make your task to rest because of others. That's the problem. If no one stops me, I will do the wrong thing. If no one praises me, I will stop doing the right thing. Now take a deep dive. This life is yours. The control should be on you. The control is on others. What kinda life is that?

This Desire For Recognition makes you unfree.


Choose freedom

What is freedom?

Freedom is the courage to be disliked by others.

Oh that person just stared you because you were wearing a weird T-shirt, So what? That person dislikes you because you just did what he doesn't like but you do, so what? Oh, no one is praising you for what you are doing is good, so what so what so what?

 You like that T-shirt, you like doing that thing, you know that is good for the society, that matters.

You were not born here to make everyone please.

This life is yours. If you have Desire for Recognition, then, sadly, you do not have the courage to accept freedom.


Because These ideas changed my whole perspective of life and I started making efforts towards my goals. This book answered a lot of my questions which several adults failed to answer correctly.

The Courage to be Disliked

The Courage to be Disliked

  • We live in a world where people are so afraid of being disliked that They would rather change their whole personality than accept the fact that there are people who dislike them. 
  • Just by this deep-rooted desire to be liked by everyone Sometimes we even choose a career we do not want and we choose to hang out with people we barely could stand. And for what?
  • Even then, there are people who dislike you and there are people who dislike me.


What is Real Freedom?

What is Real Freedom?

It is true that nobody wishes to be disliked. But look at it this way: What should one do to not be disliked by anyone?

There is only one answer: It is to constantly gauge other people’s feelings, while swearing loyalty to all of them. If there are ten people then you have to swear loyalty to all of them.

When you do that, disapproval by someone is inevitable. You’re nothing but a politician who has fallen into populism, you have no stand but to please other people's needs.

The real Freedom is being disliked by other people. It is proof that you’re being your authentic self


So What you should do if someone dislikes you?

So What you should do if someone dislikes you?

Some people deal with dislike or disapproval in a very different way they would start a fight or an argument.

This implies that you’re a tyrant and won't tolerate any opposing force, this is not a solution either. The most ideal way is to be okay with it, Just Have the courage to be disliked.


A lot of time and effort is spent on unnecessary things, which are futile. The mantra for happiness is really simple, and this book, with the help of a dialogue, gives it to the reader.

We are free to choose the meaning of our experiences

We are free to choose the meaning of our experiences

We are not determined by the experiences we've had, but rather, the meaning we give to them. Instead of thinking about 'past causes', think about 'present goals'.


Our emotions are mere tools to justify our intended actions

Our emotions are mere tools to justify our intended actions

We get angry and show aggression to make a point. We make a point to possibly win an argument, which in turn is a means to establish supremacy over the person on the receiving end.



It is only in social contexts that a person becomes an individual




the self being determined not by our experiences themselves, but by the meaning we give them



People are not driven by past causes, but move toward goals that they themselves set



You want to be Y or someone else because you are utterly focused on what you were born with. Instead, you’ve got to focus on what you can make of your equipment


Deny Trauma

No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. But instead we make out of them whatever suits our purpose



We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.


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