The Courage to Be Disliked - Deepstash

Explore the World's Best Ideas

Join today and uncover 100+ curated journeys from 50+ topics. Unlock access to our mobile app with extensive features.

Why Should You Read This Book ?

Why Should You Read This Book ?

"The issue is not about how the world is, but about how you are"...

With this touchy line introduction helps us to understand that this book is all about Adlerian Psychology. We all know that All problems are interpersonal problems.

There is always a cause before an effect, so there is always a psychological issue behind each and every action of ours. That means Who we are now (the effect) is determined by occurances in the past (the causes). So let's deep dive.


785 reads

Trauma does not exist.

We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining

We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences.

Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live


721 reads

Live without being controlled by past

People are not controlled by emotion. They are not controlled by the past

People are not driven by past causes, but more toward goals that they themselves set.

You should arrive at answers on your own, and not rely upon what you get from someone else. Answers from others are nothing more than stopgap measures ; they are of no value.


629 reads

Be ok just as you are.

Its fine to be 'Just as you are'

The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.


594 reads

People always choose not to change.

Unhappiness is something you choose for yourself. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.

When we try to change our lifestyle, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendent to not changing

Unhappiness can not be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn't that you lack competence. You just lack courage.


517 reads

Feeling of inferiority are subjective assumptions.

The issue is really what sort of meaning I attribute to the problem(height) ; what sort of value I give it. The feeling of inferiority we're suffering from are subjective interpretations rather than objective facts

Value is something that's based on a social context. An inferiority complex is an excuse.

The condition of having a feeling of inferiority is a condition of feeling some sort of lack in oneself in the present situation


464 reads

Life is not a competition.

Pursuit of superriority - There's a tendency to think of it as the desire to try to be superior to other people; as the desire to climb higher

It is the mindset of taking a single step forward on one's own feet, not the mindset of competition of the sort that necessitates aiming to be greater than other people

It's enough to just keep moving in a forward direction, without competing with anyone. There is no need to compare oneself with others


387 reads

Everyone is different here.

Everyone is different. Do not mix up that difference with good and bad, superior and inferior. Whatever differences we may have, we are all equal 

We do not walk in order to compete with someone. It is in trying to progress past who one is now that there is value.

Do not think about gaining status or honour. When one is trying to be oneself, competition will inevitably get in the way.


357 reads

You're the only one worrying about your apperance

When one is conscious of competition and victory and defeat, it is inevitable that feelings of inferiority will arise. Because one is constantly comparing oneself to others and thinking, I beat that person or I lost to that person. The inferiority complex and the superiority complex are extension of that.

This is what is so terrifying about competition. Even if you're not a loser, even if you're someone who keeps on winning, if you are someone who has places himself in competition, you still never has a moment's peace. You do not want to be loser. So you can't trust other people.


341 reads

Do not live to satisfy the expectations of others

The feeling of inferiority is an issue of value judgement

Why is it that people seek recognition from others ? In many cases, it is due to influence of rewards and punishment education.

We are not living to satisfy other people's expectations


338 reads


If you are not living your life for yourself then who is going to live it for you ? You are living only your own life. When it comes to who you are living it for, ofcourse its you.



357 reads


Curious about different takes? Check out our The Courage to Be Disliked Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

Different Perspectives Curated by Others from The Courage to Be Disliked

Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:

The Courage to Be Disliked

8 ideas

The Courage to Be Disliked

2 ideas

The Courage to Be Disliked

9 ideas

Harshad Mulchandani's Key Ideas from The Courage to Be Disliked


Discover Key Ideas from Books on Similar Topics

Read & Learn

20x Faster





Personalized microlearning

100+ Learning Journeys

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.


I agree to receive email updates