The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Deepstash

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You can’t live a pain-free life

Happiness doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Real happiness sprouts from a chain of struggles and feels more meaningful when worked hard for. So the more interesting question you can ask yourself is, “What are you willing to struggle for?”, “What pain can you sustain in your life?”

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Core Values are our Metrics

Choose one and set your Values and Metrics wisely. Core values we believe or set to ourselves is what defines us on how we perceive what makes us feel good, what is our metrics to say that we are successful with something. Not reaching that metric makes us feel like a failure.

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Pleasure

While it is a good thing to have, only prioritizing pleasure in an unhealthy dosage can be really bad.

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Material success

Do not over fixate measuring your success with the material things you have, like for example luxury items and grand travels.

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Always being right

A value that prevents one from learning from their mistakes. You’re just going to have a hard time covering up your bullshit.

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Positivity is good. However, sometimes this may lead you to avoidance of negativity rather than accepting it in a healthy way.

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Emotions are only feedback

Emotions are merely how we respond to things or situations.

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You’re wrong about everything

Life is a continuous progress of learning, and growing. If you don’t find yourself making mistakes a few times, or from time to time, you’re not growing. It doesn’t mean you can’t be right, but along the way as you learn, you become less wrong, but not perfectly right.

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The Backwards Law

Don’t try. The more we pursue and chase something, the more disappointed we feel if we don’t achieve it. The world or life is never meant to be linear or go through a linear progress. Ever wonder why the less we care about doing something the more we do better at it?

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Law of Conversion

Most people have this identity created from the values they have set themselves. For example, a woman wants to discuss to be more adventurous in the bedroom, but she is afraid to do so because it goes against her identity of being a “reserved, quiet, woman.” Kill that identify. Do not be afraid to be reborn with another identity if that’s what you wish for.

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Our brains are wired to be biased over what we believe in.

A man once said, “I think the brain is the best organ in my body” and then he remembers who told him that.

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There is nothing unique or special about your problems

Stop trying to be unique, stop trying too hard to be the main character. redefine your metrics in a mundane way.

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Acceptance of negativity

Acknowledge it, don’t avoid it. work through it until it’s gone.

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Paradox of Choice

Sometimes life is better when we have less options. Consumer culture has influenced us so much that more is better. But in reality, having a lot of options hinders our happiness, it makes us question what if we had a different choice, it provokes “the fear of missing out“ And this applies to everything in general, investing yourself in one craft, one business, one person.

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The Freedom of Commitment

Committing yourself to one solid choice also means freedom, it makes you worry less of what else is there if you picked more choices. It also gives us the “depth of experience” you can only get when you’ve been investing in something for quite some time.

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Healthy relationship is not acting as the savior nor the victim

The savior does not keep trying to save the victim, nor does the victim expect to be saved.

To simply put it, you, the Savior, is not responsible for solving someone else’s problems, and the victim, is responsible for their own problems.

It is about supporting one another, giving suggestions but not entirely controlling it, being there regardless of how they deal with their own problems.

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Acceptance of Death

Death is inevitable. Confronting this sheer reality of our mortality enables us to cut the crap and choose what we will give a f*k with.

To choose what truly matters, to be not afraid, to seek adventures we want. It gives us permission to live boldly, love deeply, grow, and just be yourself.

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