Happiness doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Real happiness sprouts from a chain of struggles and feels more meaningful when worked hard for. So the more interesting question you can ask yourself is, “What are you willing to struggle for?”, “What pain can you sustain in your life?”

You can’t live a pain-free life

Choose one and set your Values and Metrics wisely. Core values we believe or set to ourselves is what defines us on how we perceive what makes us feel good, what is our metrics to say that we are successful with something. Not reaching that metric makes us feel like a failure.

Core Values are our Metrics

SHTTY VALUES

While it is a good thing to have, only prioritizing pleasure in an unhealthy dosage can be really bad.

Pleasure

Do not over fixate measuring your success with the material things you have, like for example luxury items and grand travels.

Material success

A value that prevents one from learning from their mistakes. You’re just going to have a hard time covering up your bullshit.

Always being right

Positivity is good. However, sometimes this may lead you to avoidance of negativity rather than accepting it in a healthy way.

Emotions are merely how we respond to things or situations.

Emotions are only feedback

Life is a continuous progress of learning, and growing. If you don’t find yourself making mistakes a few times, or from time to time, you’re not growing. It doesn’t mean you can’t be right, but along the way as you learn, you become less wrong, but not perfectly right.

You’re wrong about everything

Don’t try. The more we pursue and chase something, the more disappointed we feel if we don’t achieve it. The world or life is never meant to be linear or go through a linear progress. Ever wonder why the less we care about doing something the more we do better at it?

The Backwards Law

Most people have this identity created from the values they have set themselves. For example, a woman wants to discuss to be more adventurous in the bedroom, but she is afraid to do so because it goes against her identity of being a “reserved, quiet, woman.” Kill that identify. Do not be afraid to be reborn with another identity if that’s what you wish for.

Law of Conversion

A man once said, “I think the brain is the best organ in my body” and then he remembers who told him that.

Our brains are wired to be biased over what we believe in.

Stop trying to be unique, stop trying too hard to be the main character. redefine your metrics in a mundane way.

There is nothing unique or special about your problems

Acknowledge it, don’t avoid it. work through it until it’s gone.

Acceptance of negativity

Sometimes life is better when we have less options. Consumer culture has influenced us so much that more is better. But in reality, having a lot of options hinders our happiness, it makes us question what if we had a different choice, it provokes “the fear of missing out“ And this applies to everything in general, investing yourself in one craft, one business, one person.

Paradox of Choice

Committing yourself to one solid choice also means freedom, it makes you worry less of what else is there if you picked more choices. It also gives us the “depth of experience” you can only get when you’ve been investing in something for quite some time.

The Freedom of Commitment

The savior does not keep trying to save the victim, nor does the victim expect to be saved. To simply put it, you, the Savior, is not responsible for solving someone else’s problems, and the victim, is responsible for their own problems. It is about supporting one another, giving suggestions but not entirely controlling it, being there regardless of how they deal with their own problems.

Healthy relationship is not acting as the savior nor the victim

Death is inevitable. Confronting this sheer reality of our mortality enables us to cut the crap and choose what we will give a f*k with.To choose what truly matters, to be not afraid, to seek adventures we want. It gives us permission to live boldly, love deeply, grow, and just be yourself.

Acceptance of Death

Key Takeaways - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

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Philosophy

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Personal Development

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Books

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Focus on today, don't linger on the what ifs too much and enjoy being in the moment.

Learn To Be Present

If the answer is no, let it be. Reserve your energy for things that you may have control over.

Is It Within Your Control

Write everything down in pieces. What is bothering your mind, and why? What steps can you do to lessen your mental load? Organizing your thoughts helps you think better how to deal with certain scenarios.

Journal It

Overthinking causes stress and a foggy mind. You can lessen that with some endorphins release. Talking a walk or run and keeping in touch with nature greatly helps relieve physical symptoms from stress.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Conquer overthinking 💭

Lyka Torres