Adila Bibi's Key Ideas from Unfu*k Yourself
by Gary John Bishop

Research in neuroscience and psychology shows that the kind of talk you engage in impacts the quality of your life.

Studies have continually evidenced that positive self talk can dramatically improve mood, boost confidence, increase productivity and much much more. It can be one of the key components to a happy, successful life.

The reverse is also true that negative self talk can put us in a bad mood and leave us feeling helpless. It makes small problems seem bigger and creates problems which didnt exist before.

Your self talk is fucking you up in ways you cant even begin to imagine.

Scientists have discovered that our thoughts can actually change the structure of our brains.

This phenomenon is called neuroplasticity.

As we go through life experiencing and learning new things, our brains constantly arranges and rearranges the neural pathways that control how we think and behave.

The best way to shape thoughts is through conscious, decisive self talk. Just like how we build habits by repeating an action until it becomes automatic, we can use strong and assertive language to create lasting change in our lives over time.

You are affecting your brains very biology.

When you stick to whats comfortable for you, doing the same things you've always done, your in effect living in the past - not moving forward. You are repeating behaviours that at one point in your life felt risky, but have since turned into a routine.

Success is never certain and it never comes without risk. Successful people succeed because they don't let uncertainty stop them.

Once you choose certainty over uncertainty, you stop achieving. Eventually we do that thing called 'settle'. We settle for certainty.

The successes and experiences you've dreamed of are waiting for you in uncertainty.

Its all about momentum. Once you get the ball rolling, its easier to stay moving.

Choose action over inaction. Act beyond your automatic thoughts.

The car won't start without you putting your key in the ignition.

Dont know what to do first or where to start? Great! Thats your first action! Find out. Trawl the Internet, read books, ask questions, take courses, seek advice, do whatever the eff you need to do to UNFUCK YOURSELF and get into your life.

'I am not my thoughts, I am what I do'.

Go against the current.

People in your life have become accustomed to relating to you as a specific 'kind' of person. So any attempt to break out of that mold, you're not only messing with your own world, you're also messing with theirs.

The resistance comes from your mind, not just from other people. Both your conscious and subconscious thoughts can work against you to stop your dreams right in their tracks.

How do we recognise our hidden expectations? The answer is in the places in your life where you experience disappointment, resentment, regret, suppression, anger, lethargy, essentially anywhere that leaves you feeling deflated like you have lost your self.

The greater the gap between your hidden expectations and your reality, the worse you will feel.

When you expect nothing, you're living in the moment, embracing the situation you're in.

Own the situation and be in charge of it. When you take ownership and responsibility for it, that is when you can change it.

There will always be people who will lie and cheat. Its just not healthy for your self to live in the expectation that they won't, and then throw a hissy fit when they do. Remember, in most cases, you will always end up worse off than they do! Much worse.

You end up sticking yourself with resentment, regret, anger and frustration. Remember, you are doing this to yourself!

Accept things for what they are. Become masterful with your mind and your emotional state. Quieten your mind and allow yourself to act with power rather than succumbing to your internal and external upsets.

One day, you are going to die. You will stop breathing and cease to exist. We are all mortals. There's no escaping this fact.

Imagine yourself on your death bed, you start to look back at your life. You never made the changes you wanted and needed. You stayed stuck in that job, that relationship, that overweight body, until the day you die. You are going to feel regret, remorse and sorrow.

We all have a past, some of them are fucking horrific. SO WHAT!?!?

Why is it that you show more passion for your past than you do your future? Nobody can free you except yourself.

Trapping yourself in the past is an easy way of relieving yourself of the responsibility you have for your current circumstances.

Build something bigger and create yourself a bright and satisfying future. Focus on the potential and possibility that its weight will snap you free from that significant and laborious past.