Yehuda Indra's Key Ideas from The Four Loves
by Clive Staples Lewis

Affection love, also known as storge, is the humblest and most widely diffused of loves, and it is the love in which our experience seems to differ least from that of the animals. 

It is characterized by a warm comfortableness, satisfaction in being together, and a lack of discrimination in its objects.

Affection can be felt for almost anyone, regardless of their appearance, intelligence, or other qualities. It is the least finicky and the broadest of natural loves.

Affection is not proud and does not expect too much, turning a blind eye to faults and reviving easily after quarrels.

It is a love that can unite those who are not naturally suited to each other, and it can enter into and color other loves, becoming the medium in which they operate.

Affection is also the love that can make appreciations possible which, but for it, might never have existed.

It is a love that can unite people who, if they had not found themselves put down by fate in the same household or community, would have had nothing to do with each other.

It is a love that can open our eyes to goodness we could not have seen, or should not have appreciated without it. 

However, it is important to note that Affection, by itself, left simply to follow its own bent, can darken and degrade human life.

It is a love that can be present, causing unhappiness, and it has its own criteria, requiring its objects to be familiar.

Affection is also the image used in Scripture when God is represented as our Father. 

Affection is a love that is both humble and powerful, capable of uniting and transforming other loves, and it plays a significant role in human relationships and the human experience.

Friendship love, as described by C.S. Lewis, is a unique and often undervalued form of love.

It is characterized by a deep connection between individuals who share a common vision, activity, or interest.

Unlike other forms of love, such as Affection or Eros, Friendship is not instinctive or biologically necessary, making it the least natural of loves.

However, it is a love that can enrich and enhance our lives in profound ways.

Friendship arises when individuals discover a shared taste, vision, or point of view, and it is not limited by physical attributes or social status.

In a circle of true Friends, each person is valued for themselves, standing for nothing but their true selves.

This love is essentially between individuals, and it is a voluntary nobility, where individuals have chosen each other based on a common ground.

Friendship can also be a school of virtue, making good men better and bad men worse.

It can lead to the exclusion of others, creating a sense of pride and exclusiveness within the circle of Friends.

However, when approached with humility and a genuine appreciation for the unique qualities of each individual, Friendship can lead to a deep and robust form of Appreciative love.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, art, or the universe itself, and it has no survival value. Yet, it is one of those things that give value to survival.

It is a love that can unite those who are not naturally inclined to be together, broadening their minds and leading to the appreciation of goodness and intelligence in others.

Erotic love (Greek: Eros) is romantic love, distinct from mere sexual desire.

It encompasses emotional intimacy and affection between partners.

All-Consuming: Lovers in Eros often focus intensely on each other, sometimes to the exclusion of the world around them.

Transcends Physical Attraction: Though it involves physical desire, Eros also emphasizes emotional and spiritual connection.

Idealization: Partners often see each other in an idealized light, which can distort reality.

Irrelevant to Happiness: It doesn’t guarantee happiness and can even lead to profound suffering due to its intensity and unpredictability.

Idolatry: Partners can be tempted to place each other above everything, including God, leading to possessiveness and jealousy.

Addiction:  The intensity can be addictive, pushing lovers to demand exclusivity or lose their identity in the relationship.

Unification: Eros brings two people closer, helping them understand the nature of unity and intimacy.

Creativity: This love often leads to creative pursuits, such as poetry, art, or grand gestures meant to express affection.

Eros is a powerful and beautiful form of love that should be embraced with caution, always aligned with higher spiritual and moral values.

Love of God (Greek: Agape) is the selfless, unconditional love that mirrors the love of God for humanity.

It transcends natural loves (Affection, Friendship, and Eros) by focusing on giving without expecting anything in return.

Selfless: It prioritizes the well-being and happiness of others over personal desires.

Unconditional: Agape is given regardless of the recipient’s behavior or worthiness.

Universal: It extends to all, even those who are difficult to love, including enemies.

Complements: Agape enhances other loves by preventing their excesses and self-centered tendencies.

Overcomes Idolatry: It aligns natural loves under the will of God, preventing them from becoming idolatrous.

Unifying: It binds all forms of love together, creating harmony and balance.

Paternalism: A distorted form can become patronizing, treating others as incapable of self-care.

Hypocrisy: It must be genuine, not used as a mask for ulterior motives or self-interest.

Biblical: The love Jesus Christ preached and practiced, such as caring for the marginalized and forgiving enemies.

Daily Life: Helping others without expecting gratitude or recognition, offering kindness even when inconvenient.

Agape is the highest form of love and encompasses all others by focusing on unconditional kindness and generosity.

According to Lewis,

• without Agape, the other loves can become self-destructive;
• but when guided by Agape, they find their truest expression.