Miri Swift's Key Ideas from Die Ruhe in Person
by Anastasia Schwarz

Focus on your goals and head toward them at your own pace.

Constantly moving the body and worrying about problems means that a stressed person never takes conscious breaks. They are always thinking about the future and, therefore, miss out on the present.

Calm people manage to take conscious breaks, relax, and allow themselves to relax. They know that they are worth it and live in the moment rather than in the future.

If you do not know why you want to change, you will quickly lose motivation and give up. Take a moment, reflect, and ask yourself why it is so important to you to be more relaxed.

You can only work on your problems once you know what they are. Only when you know the cause, can the problem be solved sustainably. In order to change your emotional world, always find out the cause of your emotions first.

If our thoughts are filled with fears and worries instead of being encouraging and uplifting, it will be reflected in the quality of our lives. That's why we need to get into the habit of switching off at the right moments and really calming down. This works best through a relaxed attitude towards life and a relaxed body and mind. Only then will our breaks be real breaks.

Negative beliefs are imprinted in the brain and never disappear by themselves. It is important to work on them and replace them with new, positive beliefs. We often treat ourselves the worst. The way we talk to ourselves is not the way we would talk to anyone else. Even though we are the most important person in our lives.

We all have our own unique journey in life and only we know what is best for ourselves. If someone cannot handle it, that is not our problem. Aim for serenity in order to live a self-determined life, free from the opinions of others.

There is always something to be grateful for, even if you don't see it at first.

Balanced people take time to look after themselves. They don't neglect themselves, eat a healthy diet and exercise. They also maintain social contacts, pursue their hobbies, have fixed daily routines, help others and take enough breaks.

If something can be changed, don't decide against it or give up for reasons of convenience.

Things are often just the way they are. Learn to accept them.

Learning to see the positive in everything, can help us relax and bring a sense of calmness into our lives.

Imagine you are out for a walk and come across a huge mountain blocking the way to your destination. You now have two options:

1. You can try to fight the mountain and move it.
2. You can accept that your path is blocked and simply look for another way.

If you choose the first option, after a short time you will be totally exhausted, sweaty and drained of energy, while the mountain has not moved an inch.

If, on the other hand, you choose the second option, you will save your energy for finding a new path, which may even be more beautiful than the first one.

Fighting against things you can't change anyway takes an incredible amount of energy. If you are constantly deprived of your energy, you are exhausted and stress yourself out because you still want to make the impossible possible somehow. You are unable to switch off and remain calm. Acceptance, on the other hand, restores serenity. Because instead of putting yourself under fruitless stress, you should save your energy and use it for things that can be changed.

Accepting something does not mean giving up, nor does it mean to approve. Accepting means letting go and opening up to something new.

Whenever you are unsure, you can ask yourself the following questions to find out whether it is worth continuing to fight or whether it is time to let go:

1. How much have you tried so far and did you feel that all the fighting and trying was worth it or just drained you of energy unnecessarily?
2. How long have you been fighting and do you notice a visible difference for the time you have been fighting?
3. How realistic is it that you will achieve your goal?

Communicating at eye level, listening to the other person, recognizing their needs, and taking them seriously are the be-all and end-all when it comes to having a healthy and serene relationship, regardless of whether the relationship is romantic or friendly.

By believing in yourself, you will become more relaxed in everyday life, feel less pressure and stress, and have fewer fears and worries. You know that you can achieve anything you set your mind to because you trust yourself and believe in your abilities. This makes other people's opinions less important to you because you know that your opinion is the most important and that you know best what is good for you. You no longer need the confirmation of others because you validate yourself.

You are not responsible for the stress of others. Therefore, focus on yourself and your own well-being.