How Do I Stop Feeling Lonely Right Now?

Making friends at university is challenging. Everyone has their groups of friends they meet on Saturday nights. But I didn’t.

Loneliness was always there with me. It hid behind a fake smile, waiting for me to get home. And when I did, it hit me.

But I managed to get over it. And I want to share how because I see many people struggle like I did. It could help you get over your lonely moments too.

So, here’s what to do when you feel alone.

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First thing — don’t panic.

Many people today think loneliness is an illness they have to cure. But that’s the wrong way to see it.

Feeling lonely once in a while is completely normal. One in four people are lonely regularly. And usually, our feelings seem worse than they are because of the society we live in.

• Everyone seems happy on their social accounts.
• Our social profiles seem like the exact image of our lives.
• Our brains get used to instant gratification.

And we don’t have any experience managing our mood when we feel nostalgia or loneliness.

We try so hard to get over those feelings that we never get to experience them. But it’s ok to cry sometimes.

I cried many times when I felt alone. But I don’t feel shame. I feel grateful for experiencing my lowest low. Now I know I don’t want to get there again.

Accepting it makes you stronger. It prepares you for those moments when social networks won’t distract you anymore. Or when you’ll have to be strong and supportive of others even if you feel lonely.

But how do you accept loneliness?

You accept loneliness when you accept its existence.

I know it sounds like a stupid sentence. But think about it!

Loneliness is an emotion. And all emotions have an expiration date.

Every time you get through those dark times, remember these features. Loneliness is an emotion:

• with an expiration date
• that you can’t control
• that happens whenever it wants
• and ends whenever it wants.

So don’t fight it. Accept it. Deal with it. And it will pass faster.

Or, if you want to accelerate the process, there’s a facilitator that helped me a lot in the past — anger.

Anger is a negative emotion. But it has its advantages. Otherwise, why would it resist evolution?

Loneliness destroys your mood. It makes you give up and feel pity. But anger forces you to wake up and react.

When used properly, anger reinvigorates your mood and replaces your loneliness. It doesn’t last forever. But it works. And it can also transform into motivation.

Loneliness generates pity. And pity triggers anger. But if you haven’t matured that loneliness long enough, your anger won’t help for too long.

It will motivate some of your actions. But it won’t last.

Many times, when I felt lonely, I solved it with anger. And it motivated me to work out to get in shape. It helped me study to pass my exams. But that motivation never lasts more than a week.

Over time, these failures became unbearable. I felt useless. And that’s when something inside me broke forever.

Once loneliness broke my spirit, I only had two choices:

• I could give up and accept my situation.
• Or I could use the pain and anger to build a better version of myself.

But this time, the motivation was different. It came from a surviving necessity.

The pain became too much and the anger too strong. I wanted to prove to people I was worth their time. And that’s when everything changed for me.

That's when everything changes.

You picked the second option. Otherwise, you won’t be here.

So, you are broke. But, good news! It can’t get worse. You might have reached rock bottom. Now, you can use the pain you feel in the chest to become a better person.

In the next six months , you could become a stranger. But you must start with one small improvement and commit to it.

Motivation builds up over time if you pick the right habit and stick to it. So, choose something simple, almost impossible to miss. But it has to improve your life in some way.

Here’s a short list of habits you might want to use:

• Make your bed every morning (organizational) .
• Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning (healthy) .
• Sleep at least 7/8 hours (healthy) .
• Write a to-do list every morning (organizational) .
• Make an emotional check-in every evening (healthy) .
• Take a walk every day (healthy) .
• Read at least 10 pages every day (organizational) .
• Exercise/meditate every day (healthy) .

Once you master one of these habits, you can build more on top of it. Your motivation will grow. Your willpower will strengthen. And you will attract more people.

Confidence will be the final breath of loneliness.

Your new habits will make you a better person. Better people attract new opportunities and curiosity from their peers. But you have to keep that interest high until you bond with them. So, confidence is not enough — storytelling is fundamental.

But what’s the difference? And why do you need both?

• Confidence is the courage to interact with people and catch new opportunities.
• Storytelling is how you keep people hooked.

You won’t escape loneliness without confidence. And it will be challenging to keep people’s interest without decent storytelling skills. So, improve them both after your health and organization.

That’s what will make you escape loneliness.

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