Shriyash Patil's Key Ideas from How To Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie

The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else. Your appreciation should come from the heart out. “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of friends who flatter you.”

The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. To influence other people, arouse in the other people an eager want. If there is any secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from the person’s angle as well as from your own.

People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way. 

Dale Carnegie shares his 6 key principles to make people like you.

Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.

Principle 2 - SMILE

A real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within, the kind of smile that will bring a good price in the marketplace. They suggest that when you smile when talking to the phone. Your “Smile” comes through in your voice.

The average person is more interested in his or her name than in all the other names on earth put together. But if you forget one’s name or mispell it and then you should know that you are at a sharp disadvantage.

Principle 4 - Be A Good Listener.

Follow the 80/20 rule of 80% listening and 20% speaking.

Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. He talked in terms of what interested the other man.

Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important.

Ask yourself “What is there about him that I can honestly admire?” Always make the other person feel important. Use little phrases like “I’m sorry to trouble you”, “Would you be so kind as to..”, “Won’t you please”, “Would you mind?”, “Thank you”.

Dale Carnegie Shares 12 Key Principles To Completely Win People To Your Way Of Thinking.

Always avoid the acute angle. Always avoid arguments like you avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes. You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride.

Principle 2 - Show Respect For Other Person's Opinions.

Always Say - “I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.” You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded.

When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong—and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves—let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.

Principle 4 - Begin In The Friendly Way

You should always aim to begin conversations in the friendliest way possible.

Begin conversations by emphasizing —and keep on emphasizing — the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.

Principle 6 - Let The Other Person do all the talking.

Let the other people talk themselves out. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things. If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently.

Don't argue upon ideas, let the other feel that ideas are his/hers.

Principle 8 - See Things From Other Person's Point Of View.

Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that. There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason—and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality.

Magic Phrase - “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”

Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.

Principle 10 - “An Appeal That Everybody Likes”

So in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives. “That when no information can be secured about the customer, the only sound basis on which to proceed is to assume that he or she is sincere, honest, truthful and willing and anxious to pay the charges, once convinced they are correct.

This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship.

Principle 12 - “When nothing else works, try this.”

“The way to get things done,” say Schwab, “is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”

The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit. The one major factor that motivated people.

Congratulations! 💓