The 4 ‘Love Archetypes’ That Influence Partner Choice (part 2 of 2)

Explorers aren’t generally introspective either. So two Explorers can leave serious family issues unresolved. Explorers also tend to be charismatic and flirtatious, so they can stumble into extra-marital romantic situations. They are prone to addiction, too. And Explorers can become restless and hanker to move on as the novelty wears off. Yet this restlessness may be their biological strength. Helen Fisher suspected this type is more prone to making a series of partnerships, hence producing more varied young – another viable reproductive strategy.

But what happens when an Explorer falls in love with a Builder? One is reckless, the other cautious; one likes novelty, the other basks in the familiar. Or when two Directors tie the knot? Both are sceptical, competitive and have poorer people skills. Can two Negotiators ever make a decision? Both vacillate. And how will someone predominantly expressive of both Explorer and Builder traits cope with someone who is largely a Director and Negotiator?

Every match will have different joys and sorrows. Moreover, each of us is a unique combination of these four broad biological styles of thinking and behaving. In fact, in one of Helen Fisher’s studies of 100,000 individuals, no two people answered the 56 questions of her questionnaire the same way.

Nevertheless, each of these 100,000 men and women expressed these four broad personality constellations in some way: biological patterns to human personality do exist.

So when a couple walks into the therapist’s office, they come not only with luggage from their childhood but with biologically based variations in whom and how they love. These predispositions are worth knowing as the couple therapist embarks upon the journey into their clients’ hearts.