The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down - Haemin Sunim

Be the kind of person who can put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand something not just from your own perspective but from theirs as well.

If I want to convince someone, I first listen attentively and try to understand them.

Even if I am right, they won't be convinced until they feel heard and respected.

When you hear something that makes your blood boil, don't shoot off a text or an e-mail right away.

A wise person sleeps on it. An instant emotional reaction often leads to a regrettable outcome.

Choose happiness, not success, as your life's goal.

If you become successful but aren't happy, then what is the point?

The art of maintaining a good relationship can be compared to sitting by a fireplace.

If we sit too close for too long, we become hot and possibly burned.

If we sit too far away, we cannot feel the warmth.

If someone says, "Let's see whose religion is right," first listen respectfully, then say, "Thank you for introducing me to aspects of your religion that I didn't know much about.

I appreciate that." If I engage in an argument in order to win, the only result would be that someone would feel hurt.

Even if I did win, what good would result? The other person would only feel defeated.

When you open up about your hurt and sorrow, I feel grateful that you've turned to me for support.

It's as though I am meeting you in the most sacred chamber of your heart.

Speak from your heart, which is tender, simple and true.

People will understand you and like you.

Do you know why that conversation is so boring?

Because we are trapped in politeness, unable to speak from the heart.

Any conversation can become interesting and lively as soon as we start speaking with real honesty.

When you are disappointed, don't wait too long to say so.

When you bottle up your feelings, the river of emotion swells, making it difficult to cross over and speak calmly.

No matter how hurt you are, you don't need to have the last word.

He complains about her behind her back.

She, without knowing anything, approaches him and says the kindest words.

The best revenge is love.

The person who betrayed you and left, the person who stole from you and disappeared, the person who stabbed you in the back and acted as if nothing happened-forgive them.

Not for them, but for your own sake—-truly, completely, for yourself.

Not because they deserve your forgiveness; not because they are only human.

Forgive them. So you can be free. So you can be happy. So you can go on living your life.

In your relationships, assume you will need to give more than you receive.

We remember so well what we have done for others but easily forget what others have done for us.

Even if you feel you are owed a little, it's likely you have received close to what you have given.

When a wise person wants something from others. she first does what she desires from them exemplifying rather than asking for it.

If you want a friend to remember your birthday remember hers first.

If you want your husband to give you a massage, give hum a massage first Don't just wait for what you want to happen. Act first

The flaw that you immediately notice in someone you meet is probably a flaw of yours, too.

If you didn't have it you wouldn't have noticed it so quickly.

When you think your spouse won't change and you worry how you will live the rest of your life together, ask yourself:

Am I perfect in my spouse's eyes?

When faced with a problem in a relationship it will never be solved if you begin by asking:

"Why can't he understand me?"

"Why won't he just do what I say?”

It is because this approach begins with a demand Instead, begin by asking:

"What is it that makes him unhappy and feel misunderstood”

“What past experience is making him respond in this way?"

When you begin with the intention of understanding him, your heart is released from the prison of your views and opens up to feel his part.

We live among countless relations: family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, etc.

Life is good when these relationships are good. Being happy by yourself doesn't last long