Adila Bibi's Key Ideas from The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
by Haemin Sunim

Many conflicts in our lives can be resolved if we put ourselves in the other person's shoes.

Try to look at things from her point of view.

If you consider only your side,

you are no different from a child.

If you think you are either superior or inferior to someone,

An invisible wall goes up between you.

Treat him like an old friend you havnt seen in a while.

When you let your guard down, so will he.

Do you know why that conversation is so boring?

Because we are trapped in politeness, unable to speak from the heart.

Any conversation can become interesting and lively as soon as we start speaking with real honesty.

Do memories cause you pain?

Practice being in the present moment.

Turn your attention to the here and now.

Notice that your thoughts subside when you focus on the present.

As your thoughts quiet so, too, the memories.

Because memories are, in essence, thoughts.

People who easily ignore others do so because they are afraid of being ignored.

Do not try to control those around you.

When you cannot control even your own mind,

What makes you think you can control others?

If you keep hoping to be comforted by others,

You can feel weighed down by that need.

If You have a constant need to be heard,

Nobody can meet that need to your complete satisfaction.

Rather than always seeking comfort from others,

Offer your comfort and listen to others.

In the process of helping,

You will be healed.

What is the use of someone carrying a designer handbag when her behaviour lacks the same refinement?

Without love,

Our lives would pass us by in the blink of an eye.

Love has the power to stop the world for a moment.

We do things for the one we love,

But sometimes just being there expresses even deeper love.

Give the gift of your full presence.

Are you a controlling parent?

Are you devoting too much attention to your child?

If the answer is yes,

Then turn some of that attention toward your parents.

If you are good to your own parents,

Then your child will learn how to treat you in the future.

The purpose of religion is to control yourself,

Not to criticise others.

How much am I doing about my anger, attachment, hatred, pride, and jealousy?

These are the things we must check in our daily lives.

If we know how to be content,

We can relax our endless striving and welcome serenity.

If we know how to be content,

We can enjoy the time we have with the person next to us.

If we know how to be content,

We can make peace with our past and let go of our baggage.

Love yourself despite your imperfections.

Do you not feel compassion for yourself as you struggle through life?

You are so eager to help your friends, but you treat yourself so poorly.

Stroke your heart once in a while and tell yourself,

'I love you'

Spirituality must be practiced not just in solitude but also among people.

Open up to people around you and feel connected.

This is the true challenge of spiritual practice.

Some people are generous and kind to those outside their circle while neglecting the needs of those within it.

It is a mistake to take family and close colleagues for granted.

When those closest to you feel ignored and betrayed, everything you have built can collapse in an instant.

Does the person you hate deserve to be carried around in your heart?

Keep in your heart only those who love you.

If you carry around with you people you hate, it causes only angst and depression.