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Intimacy requires both partners to share and disclose concerns from time to time. But men and women have very different tolerances for "relationship talk, " which requires sacrifice from both to make them productive.
Women, as a rule, have a positive association with relationship talk; it makes them feel connected and happy. Men, on the other hand, do not enjoy relationship talk; it makes them feel blamed, worried, and distressed.
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Being independent, having your own interests, activities, and friends add excitement and freshness to relationships. But couples who live parallel lives and don't invite their spouse into their world on a regular basis tend to grow apart and be unhappy over the long term.
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Lack of conflict may just mean that you’re not dealing with existing issues. And research indicates that couples who report no conflict are not very happy over time.
Don't shy away from difficult conversations. Learning how to disagree in a healthy, productive manner is a key component of happy relationships.
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Research shows that similarities are what keep people together for the long term and lead to the most successful, happy relationships.
Happy couples might have very different tastes, social backgrounds, and even religions, but the key aspect they share is related to similar basic life values.
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Key Ideas
If you believe in that myth, you’re not going to take the responsibility required to create a great relationship.
You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. It doesn’t j...
People can change if they want to.
Remember that change can be scary, so it's important to be loving and supportive of your partner.
Not all men are cheaters, and believing so can make you less trusting and more paranoid of your partner.
If you want a solid bond, you have to trust your significant other and communicate if you have concerns about his fidelity.
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The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.
The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.
Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.
Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.
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Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.
How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to inve...
Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love."
Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.
The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.
Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.