How to Be Excellent (or at Least Pretty Good) at Canceling Plans

• If a last-minute emergency prevents you from missing a moderately important gathering, be sure to still send a gift and a handwritten note.
• Be sure to mention you're sorry for not making it and don't put the person that invited you.
• Don't fish for validation, but validate them. Reiterate the fact that you value your relationship and that you are not rejecting them permanently.

When you cancel plans, the goal is to walk away completely unscathed, and that means avoiding both guilt and FOMO, so stay off social media. 

If you had to skip a party for a last-minute family thing and instead sulked over Instagrams depicting the fun you could've been having — not ideal.

If you really want to commit to transparency, you can incorporate your friend into your decision-making process, which also lets you test the waters to determine the best course of action.

Present your friend with your dilemma, and let him/her weigh in. If they seem upset and hurt by the prospect of your canceling, try to make it happen. If they seem totally understanding, go ahead and cancel.

Even the most understanding friend will only be understanding so many times. Your reputation and your relationships will eventually suffer.

And when you do bail, set concrete plans for next time — and stick to them.