How to Stop Feeling Guilty: 14 Techniques to Try

Studies show that negative emotions and thoughts can elevate the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones help trigger your body to respond when you encounter a threat or stressful event. The problem is when high levels of these hormones last too long, you start to become restless and irritable. You may also start to experience high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, a stress ulcer in your stomach, and inflammation.

Research that studies how guilt affects your mind shows that feeling guilty can affect your mental health and well-being. Feeling guilty increases negative thinking. This can have a bigger impact if you’re already experiencing depression. When you’re in a depressive state and also have feelings of guilt, this can lead to negative cognition. Negative cognition is when you think about and talk to yourself in a negative way.

Generally, you may start to have a negative opinion about yourself, leading to low self-esteem issues. As a result, feeling guilty can make you even more depressed. 

When you start having feelings of guilt, you may not even know why you’re feeling guilty. In other cases, you may know why you’re feeling guilty but don’t know how to manage those feelings.

Here are a few tips to help you stop feeling guilty.

• Accept what has happened.

Nobody can turn back time. If you’re feeling guilty because of a past mistake or event — for instance, if you’re experiencing survivor guilt — you can start accepting what happened and know that nothing you can do can change the past.

• Apologize if necessary.

When you hurt someone, it can sometimes be hard to apologize. This might be because you’re feeling shame, and this is natural and very common.

But there is no need to wallow in guilt. If you think that you can fix the problem by apologizing, then it might be a good solution. You may not get the results that you want, but the person you hurt will see that you’re trying to fix your mistake. That can go a long way.

• Understand where you are now and what has changed.

If you’re feeling guilty about something and know what’s making you feel guilty, first recognize that you can’t do anything to change what has happened.

Secondly, understand where you are now and what has changed. For example, maybe you hurt a friend who doesn’t accept your apology and decides to end your friendship. You’ve done everything that you can, but now the friendship is over. Once you acknowledge the truth about the present situation, you can begin to forgive yourself and give yourself another chance.

• Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned.

If you’ve hurt someone with your actions, think about the lessons that the consequences can teach you. Let’s say you stole something from a friend. Even if you return whatever you stole and apologize, your friend might still decide that they no longer want you in their life. The lesson here might be that just because you have an impulse to take something that doesn’t belong to you, you don’t have to act on that impulse. It might cost you a good friendship.

• Get help if you can’t cope on your own.

Overcoming negative thoughts and emotions takes a lot of willpower and support. Without the support of people you trust, it can be hard to cope with feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, and other negative emotions. So if you find that you are struggling to cope with feelings of guilt, talk to someone. It can be a close friend, relative, or a professional.

• Do something good.

Doing something good can help you stop feeling guilty. This can be something like helping out in the community or volunteering. 

• Do something for yourself.

Doing something that makes you feel good inside will replace those guilty feelings with good and positive feelings.

• Learn something new.

Do something new or try something you have never tried before. Focusing your mind on a new skill can help you think about something other than your feelings of guilt. Create goals and work toward achieving them. Refocus your thoughts on something positive. Instead of dwelling on what is making you feel guilty, focus on achieving your goals.

• Celebrate your small victories.

Be proud of every small achievement you make. Even apologizing for something you’ve done wrong is an achievement in itself. Commend yourself for being brave enough to apologize despite the shame.

• Turn guilt into gratitude.

You may see guilt as a negative emotion, which leads to other negative emotions. But you can also try turning guilt into gratitude. Studies show that guilt can help you do things that are morally right. Guilt can make you honest. So whenever you are feeling guilty, try to look at it in a positive way. Learn to appreciate that guilt because it will help you grow as a person.

• Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Don’t sabotage yourself by obsessing over a mistake. No one is perfect. Understand that you are human, and we all make mistakes. Once you’ve apologized and fixed your mistake when and where you can, don’t burden yourself with feelings of guilt over something you can’t change or undo. This can only affect your physical and mental health. Instead, be good to yourself. Practice self-compassion, and tell yourself that you are good enough.

• Grow your self-esteem.

Guilt is associated with shame, and shame leads to low self-esteem. By learning to forgive yourself, you can overcome the guilt and shame. It’s easy to look down on yourself, and these negative thoughts are often driven by feelings of guilt. 

Once you stop feeling guilty, you can grow your self-esteem. Self-esteem and self-compassion go hand in hand. If you want to start feeling good about yourself, show yourself compassion. This will increase your self-worth and self-esteem.

• Seek professional help.

If you’ve tried everything you can to stop feeling guilty with no success, remember you can always ask for help. If the guilt is affecting your everyday life and making you feel depressed, talk to a professional. Don’t let guilt take over your life. Asking for help is a great way to show yourself some love.