Practicing detachment is part of life.I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realise : chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and attachment to the outcome of a situation, which in itself can lead to suffering. What will they say? What will they decide?

The Art of Detachment: Learning to Let Go

We all know by now that an outcome in any given situation is unpredictable. There are too many factors to know exactly what might happen. It may turn out the way we want, or it may not, but there’s no way to know which way it’ll go. Letting go of the outcome is a practice to work on every day. With our heart wrapped up in it, we become like sailors hoping for the blessed sight of land after a long voyage, anxiously waiting for that first sight of the green shores of our homeland, the place where we belong.

Letting Go.

Many claim that there is a way of detaching from such emotional situations, using your logic to essentially “talk yourself out of” feelings and convince yourself that though they may be valid, these emotions aren’t necessarily true.Researchers claim that the triangle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is reciprocal. Any change in the cycle has an influence on the others

The Natural Course

<img alt="Wesley Owens" src="https://miro.medium.com/max/500/2*5g5V34I0bVW_cZjBBBiMSQ" width="48" height="48">Practicing detachment is part of life<figure><img alt="" src="https://miro.medium.com/max/500/0*QI4wcs1v8k-" width="680" height="514"><figcaption class="ib ic cw cu cv id ie cb b ff cd ce" data-selectable-paragraph="" dir="ltr">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@krisroller?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral" class="ch if" rel="noopener nofollow" dir="ltr">Kristopher Roller</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=medium&amp;utm_medium=referral" class="ch if" rel="noopener nofollow" dir="ltr">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>The other day I wrote in my journal two sentences: Forget About Success. Forget About Happiness.Now, I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realization that day: chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and attachment to the outcome of a situation, which in itself can lead to suffering.Let’s take love: We all want it, and when you offer someone your heart, you are offering a piece of yourself. You are wrapped up in an idea, poised on the edge of expectation of desire.Suddenly our souls are bared to the cold, and realize in a horrible instant that we have no control over the outcome.What will they say?What will they decide?And so it goes. Falling for someone is a risk — a crazy risk actually — because nothing gets us so caught up in expectation and neurotic attachment as romantic love.<h1 data-selectable-paragraph="">Letting Go</h1>Learning to let go and accept the outcome no matter what happens is perhaps one of the most difficult parts of life. In such a situation, we are inevitably drawn deeply in the outcome, and we naturally are hoping for it work out in a certain way.We all know by now that an outcome in any given situation is unpredictable. There are too many factors to know exactly what might happen. It may turn out the way we want, or it may not, but there’s no way to know way it’ll go.<BLOCKQUOTE>“There’s no way to know what it might have beenThrough the long years afterThere’s no way to knowWhat we might have madeOf a love that we could not see”No Way To Know, by Doug Paisley</BLOCKQUOTE>Letting go of the outcome is a practice to work on every day. With our heart wrapped up in it, we become like sailors hoping for the blessed sight of land after a long voyage, anxiously waiting for that first sight of the green shores of our homeland, the place where we belong.<h1 data-selectable-paragraph="">The Natural Course</h1>So with hearts that naturally get caught up in the outcome, how we disinvest from the outcome and learn detachment? For me, relationships always inevitably become a mess of expectation and desire, and I can’t even imaging what being detached would be like.Many claim that there is a way of detaching from such emotional situations, using your logic to essentially “talk yourself out of” problematic feelings and convince yourself that though they may be valid, these emotions aren’t necessarily true.Researchers like David. D. Burns claim that the triangle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is reciprocal. Any change in the cycle has an influence on the others, such as positive thoughts leading to more beneficial emotional states, and vice versa.This idea is easy to understand. I think most people get this idea. Yet when it comes to applying it, it gets a little trickier.When the pain comes, we still dip into those self-defeating patterns, multiplying our despair as everything in our life becomes tinged with shades of grey.Experts stress that detachment from outcomes is critical in such an intense and painful emotional experience. But how could we not care about the outcome? It seems like that’s the whole point, right? Well, yes and no.It’s true that all we can control is our input into any given situation. If that’s we cared about, we’d probably feel a lot better about ourselves.Our body and soul are caught up in our emotions, and when something doesn’t work out, and we’re left holding our heart in our hands, it’s easy to fall into the river that is despair.Eventually, detachment becomes our only option. We can’t fix anything, and we can’t go back and change what’s already happened. And it’ll probably always hurt, at least for a while, but that doesn’t mean you can’t practice letting go a little bit every day.

Now, I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realization that day: chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and…

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Practicing detachment is part of life

The other day I wrote in my journal two sentences: Forget About Success. Forget About Happiness.

Now, I’m not trying to say that success and happiness are bad things to be chasing, it’s just that I came to a realization that day: chasing something too hard can lead to a lot of expectations and attachment to the outcome of a situation, which in itself can lead to suffering.

Let’s take love: We all want it, and when you offer someone your heart, you are offering a piece of yourself. You are wrapped up in an idea, poised on the edge of expectation of desire.

Suddenly our souls are bared to the cold, and realize in a horrible instant that we have no control over the outcome.

What will they say?

What will they decide?

And so it goes. Falling for someone is a risk — a crazy risk actually — because nothing gets us so caught up in expectation and neurotic attachment as romantic love.

Learning to let go and accept the outcome no matter what happens is perhaps one of the most difficult parts of life. In such a situation, we are inevitably drawn deeply in the outcome, and we naturally are hoping for it work out in a certain way.

We all know by now that an outcome in any given situation is unpredictable. There are too many factors to know exactly what might happen. It may turn out the way we want, or it may not, but there’s no way to know way it’ll go.

“There’s no way to know what it might have been

Of a love that we could not see”

Letting go of the outcome is a practice to work on every day. With our heart wrapped up in it, we become like sailors hoping for the blessed sight of land after a long voyage, anxiously waiting for that first sight of the green shores of our homeland, the place where we belong.

So with hearts that naturally get caught up in the outcome, how we disinvest from the outcome and learn detachment? For me, relationships always inevitably become a mess of expectation and desire, and I can’t even imaging what being detached would be like.

Many claim that there is a way of detaching from such emotional situations, using your logic to essentially “talk yourself out of” problematic feelings and convince yourself that though they may be valid, these emotions aren’t necessarily true.

Researchers like David. D. Burns claim that the triangle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is reciprocal. Any change in the cycle has an influence on the others, such as positive thoughts leading to more beneficial emotional states, and vice versa.

This idea is easy to understand. I think most people get this idea. Yet when it comes to applying it, it gets a little trickier.

When the pain comes, we still dip into those self-defeating patterns, multiplying our despair as everything in our life becomes tinged with shades of grey.

Experts stress that detachment from outcomes is critical in such an intense and painful emotional experience. But how could we not care about the outcome? It seems like that’s the whole point, right? Well, yes and no.

It’s true that all we can control is our input into any given situation. If that’s we cared about, we’d probably feel a lot better about ourselves.

Our body and soul are caught up in our emotions, and when something doesn’t work out, and we’re left holding our heart in our hands, it’s easy to fall into the river that is despair.

The Art of Detachment: Learning to Let Go