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How to find common interests
How to be a good listener
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Conflict Triggers
According to a 2019 study, here are the top three conflict triggers that upset, irritate, hurt, or anger partners
1. Condescension (i.e., you are treated as stupid or inferior; your partner acts like they think they’re better than you.
2. Possessiveness, jealousy and/or dependency (i.e., your partner demands too much attention or time or is overly jealous, possessive, or dependent)
3. Neglect, rejection and/or unreliability (i.e., your partner ignores your feelings, doesn’t call or text, doesn’t say they love you)
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Listening Techniques-2
4. Paraphrase: To demonstrate your understanding, you should be able to recap what your partner is saying, using your own words. This has two big benefits: First, it shows your partner that you’re deeply invested in the conversation; second, knowing you need to paraphrase forces...
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Short-term gain, long-term pain.
- Researchers from the University of Michigan and Penn State University followed more than 1,500 adults for more than a week, they found that while people felt better on the day they avoided an argument, the next day they had diminished psychological well-being and increased cortisol, which ca...
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- For the good of the relationship, every argument needs to start the same way: Partners need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Rather than start off assuming your partner is wrong, is hopelessly flawed, has bad intentions, or is trying to hurt you, you give them wh...
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Listening Techniques-1
Regardless of the problem, there’s no substitute for listening to your partner.
How do we become better listeners? Give a “CRAPO”. Here’s what I mean:
1. Clarify: Be clear about what they’re saying if not ask questions.
2. Reflect th...
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