Four signs of manipulative behaviour - Deepstash
Four signs of manipulative behaviour

Four signs of manipulative behaviour

  1. Asking you to do favors to endear themselves to you. Beware of the Ben Franklin Effect.
  2. Bestowing you with gifts as a way to create a debt to them. Humans are reciprocal in nature. Strings are often hidden.
  3. They pretend there was never a problem in the first place. They gaslight you into questioning reality.
  4. They show just enough interest in you to keep your attention. They are feeding you crumbs with no intention of providing the meal.

21 STASHED

2 LIKES

MORE IDEAS FROM THEARTICLE

There was never an issue

Gaslighting is a form of control where the victim begins to question reality. For example, your parents might insist some trauma in your childhood never happened. They’ll smile and say, “Oh you are just imagining things, that never happened!” Your partner may swear they were never late getting home, even though you’ve seen them come home hours late every night. Gaslighting will cause some of the biggest fights you’ll ever have in a relationship. Don’t back down from calling it out.

16 STASHED

3 LIKES

Ben Franklin effect

Ben Franklin had a political enemy who was making speeches against him. Franklin remembered an old quote, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” Then he asked that political enemy to loan him a rare book. Then, Ben returned it to him with a nice thank you note. Suddenly, their political rivalry vanished and Franklin had a new friend.

19 STASHED

2 LIKES

Four fake gestures that are actually manipulative.

Not only are we deceived more than we realize, manipulators often forget they are doing it. The behavior was ingrained during childhood. It got them what they wanted, out of trouble, into good graces. It went unchecked for years. By the time you deal with them as adults, they are very good at what they do. Here are four signs their smile means you are being played like a fiddle.

15 STASHED

2 LIKES

The threat of breadcrumbing

As the name implies, it means they give you just enough signals to keep you engaged. They like all your social media posts, send you messages, flirt with you in person. They may have very sporadic communication or seem to come and go in bursts. Or, if you are already dating, and bring up making a commitment, they may get dodgy or turn into a sudden zen philosopher on the virtues of independence.

14 STASHED

1 LIKE

The curse of gifts

Humans are strongly reciprocal in nature. Healthy relationships are built on giving and getting in return. A gulf in reciprocity creates a power imbalance. This is why gifts are a common tool for manipulation.

16 STASHED

2 LIKES

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

RELATED IDEAS

It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. 

State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support.

2.73K STASHED

9 LIKES

Intimacy
  • Intimacy is the key ingredient of love in a relationship. It requires a person to share his or her inner life, including the joys, quirks and vulnerabilities towards their partner and helping them reciprocate the same.

  • Intimacy is deeply connected to empathy and deep understanding so that the partner is able to share a painful experience.

333 STASHED

5 LIKES

The Benjamin Franklin effect

Is a psychological phenomenon that causes us to like someone more after we do that person a favor: We justify our actions to ourselves, that we did them a favor because we liked them.

But the reverse effect is also true - we come to hate our victims, which helps to explain wartime atrocities.

277 STASHED

30 LIKES