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The Importance of Failure (and 6 People Who Prove It)
Importance of failure
We need to start talking about failure as life's master instructor. Experiences in failure are less about not finding success than they are about problem solving, and the skills cultivated as a by-product of failure are the skills many brilliant entrepreneurs have only come to possess by failing.
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7
Key Ideas
The humble narcissist
Researchers studied whether customer service employees were more productive under narcissistic or humble leaders.
The least effective bosses were narcissists. Humble bosses we...
Narcissist and humble leaders
Narcissists believe they're unique and superior, while humble leaders know they're flawed.
The humble narcissist has grand ambitions but doesn't feel entitled to them. He is also willing to acknowledge his weaknesses and learn from his mistakes.
Narcissism and confidence
We're all drawn to someone who shows confidence - that is the reason that narcissists are more likely to be promoted or get elected to political office. But on its own, narcissism is dangerous. It tends to promote overconfidence and it dismisses the criticism.
Adding humility to narcissism prevents capriciousness and complacency. It helps you remember that you’re human.
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Key Ideas
Stop following routines
Routines don’t work for most people. People with young kids, pets, people who travel a lot or work remotely, find it extremely difficult to follow the same routine every day. If you keep trying, yo...
Focus on the process
It is better to focus on the process rather than the outcome. When you focus on the outcome, you slow your growth.
Commit to consistent practice. Focus on the process of getting better every single day.
Small progress
Most people lack success because they cannot follow a routine to achieve an important goal.
Instead of fighting a losing battle, learn to move around these tasks to start making progress when you can.
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Key Ideas
Why You Self-Sabotage
For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.
These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as...
How You Self-Sabotage
Relationships:
- You keep yourself isolated.
- You make so many demands on your partner that he or she feels smothered and ends the relationship.
- You judge everyone you meet as not being good enough for you.
Work:
- You keep putting off looking for the kind of job you want.
- You are able to work, and say you want to, but keep living off other means.
- You stay in a job that you hate.
- You keep yourself uneducated regarding doing what you really want to do.
Healing Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
- Notice self-judgments.
- Shift your definition of your worth, from outcomes to effort. Decide that you will define your worth by the loving actions you take for yourself and others.
- Consciously see mistakes and failure as stepping stones to success, rather than as definitions of your worth.
- Learn to be kind and compassionate toward your own feelings.
- Make a decision that you are willing to lose another person rather than lose yourself.