13 Self-Help BS & Myths: Updated List (Plus, Fixes) | The Power Moves
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Once the ratio hit about 11 to 1, positive emotions began doing more harm than good. Beyond that balance of positive-to-negative, Life becomes a festival of Panglossian cluelessness, where self-delusion suffocates self-improvement.
Some negativity (…) is essential to offer us feedback on our performance
"Repeat yourself a mantra and you will eventually come to believe it and embody it."
"We have found that merely repeating positive statements to yourself does not raise mood or achievement very much, if at all.", says psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology
What To Do:
"If you think often enough and with enough conviction about what you want you can attract it in your life."
From a psychological perspective, this notion has some merit but there is no empirical scientific evidence supporting the law of attraction, and it is widely considered to be pseudoscience.
"A survey of Yale’s class of 1953 found out that people who wrote down their goals out-earned all the rest by several orders of magnitude."
Some people looked for the source of this study.
And there was none.
Finally, Yale University itself came out saying a survey on goal setting was never conducted.
"If you focus on positives you will be happier and more successful. If you focus on the negative you will be unhappier."
"The more confident and the higher your self esteem, the better off you are."
That’s not wholly wrong. High self-esteem is good.
Paradoxically, the higher your self-esteem, the more dangers you see in your external environment.
"The brain can rewire and change itself, and that means that you can learn anything."
The Self-Help Lie:
The brain is plastic… Quite a bit. But that doesn’t mean it can rewire itself limitlessly.
What To Do:
"IQ doesn’t matter, it’s all about how you understand and get along with people."
"If you want to become world-class good all you need to do is put in 10,000 hours."
Why It’s Wrong:
What to Do Instead:
"The more you visualize yourself winning, the closer you get to actually winning."
What To Do
"You become what you think of. Force yourself to think positive and you’re good."
Violence ensues when people feel that their favorable views of themselves are threatened or disputed by others.
As a result, people whose self-esteem is high but lacks a firm basis in genuine accomplishment are especially prone to be violence because they are most likely to have their narcissistic bubble burst.
"Most meaning of human communication is nonverbal, so you can forget about the actual words."
This is what, in a nutshell, the Mehrabian study tells us:
"When it comes to feelings and atittudes, we get most of our cues of the speaker’s intent from non-verbal sources. When the two are in conflict, we give precedene to non-verbals."
That’s the truth of the study and it cannot be generalized outside of feelings and attitudes.
"To feel better and live fully, you must let out all negative emotions."
There is plenty of evidence that venting your anger actually only makes you more angry and aggressive and increases the negative consequences of anger.
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