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Offer unvarnished honesty

There are a lot of reasons why people don’t share what they truly think in professional situations.

Just remember to root your honesty in what will actually have utility for the other party. This will set a good tone for all future conversations.

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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

If you want to connect with someone professionally to move your goals forward, you need to know exactly why you care about that person or their company. And you need to know how to articulate it succinctly. 

If you know you’re headed into a call or event and want to make a good impre...

Being a good listener is about two things: 

  1. Demonstrating that you’ve heard exactly what was said by the other person.
  2. Encouraging them to continue. This breaks down into what’s called “backchanneling” — offering short, enthusiastic responses as the other person t...

Acknowledging your own fallibility and human imperfection can go a long way toward making yourself relatable. Especially if there’s a power dynamic where someone is asking for your advice, attention or help, you want to put the other person at ease.

Taking the time to call or meet...

Actively project warmth and high energy. People like you when they feel liked by you.

To make it clear you’re interested in the other person, think about what they know that you don’t. What do you actually want to learn in the interaction? Focus on that so that they can...

Maybe you can’t provide what someone is looking for. But, if you can change the angle or way they’re thinking about something by openly brainstorming with them, you make them feel like they got something special and unexpected. 

It’s key that you’re brainstorming with them, not for t...

End every meeting or conversation with the feeling and optimism you’d like to have at the start of your next conversation with the person.

Assume you’re going to run into everyone again.

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Make People Feel Important

A charming person makes everyone, regardless of their status, feel important. People around them feel heard, understood, and worthy of their time.

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Holmes practices mindfulness

Mindfulness means focusing on only one problem or activity at a time.

Our brain cannot do two things at once. “What we believe is multi-tasking is really the brain switching quickly from one task to the next.” 

A study points out that those who are multi-taskers are less...

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  • Deep work”: using your skills to create something of value. It takes thought, energy, time and concentration.
  • Shallow work”: all the little administrative and logistical stuff: email, meetings, calls, expense reports, etc.

Shallow work stops you from...

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