Being Lonely - Deepstash

Being Lonely

Our perceptions get wrapped when we are lonely. The sense of social threat is magnified, as we tend to focus on awkward social encounters, playing them again and again in our heads. It keeps us in our shells and more withdrawn from the outside world.

We also have unrealistic expectations out of friendships and romantic love, unable to understand that things can be different from our fantasies and ideals.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Loneliness: coping with the gap where friends used to be

The pandemic has forced people to stay away from each other, cramped in their rooms, with no get-togethers or nights out. This is giving rise to loneliness, and also in the inability in making new friends.

Before the pandemic, people used to join Yoga classes, jogging clubs or do volunteer work to meet new people. Now they use Tinder for the same, but even meeting new people does not solve their core problem of loneliness.

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Human beings are social creatures that need other people with them. 

The warmth, the care, the gentle scrutiny, the old tales of yore, all are needed to make us feel buoyant and invincible, our worries dissolving in the laughter among people who care for us.

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  • Loneliness does not mean being alone, although that’s a big part of the problem. 
  • It is defined as a lack of connection, or emotional closeness, and a feeling of unresponsiveness. 
  • People can feel lonely while having a huge network of friends, as many celebrities do. 
  • The problem is the depth and the authenticity of the connection.
  • Loneliness can be cured by intimacy, but being intimate with someone is a risky concept for most people.

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Ending friendships

Sometimes a friendship can become so painful or unhealthy that we need to end it.

But we often don't have clear guidance or formulas to make these decisions. Our negative emotions drive our thoughts and may cause us to make poor decisions and lose relationships we could have kept.

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Loneliness Around The Holidays

Right after Thanksgiving, the sights and sounds around us morph into a familiar holiday cheer, with twinkling lights, christmas carols and classics on TV channels. It can be the best feeling in the world, but also can be an oppressive feeling for some, who are so lonely that they feel ‘mocked’ by the ongoing holiday splurge going around, with family get togethers and gifts.

The holiday times are cheery but stressful, and can be a harrowing experience for those who already struggle with loneliness or depression.

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Why you need friends

Friendship helps protect the brain and body from stress, anxiety and depression. Being around trusted others, in essence, signals safety and security,

Research suggests that you only need between four and five close pals. Close friends should be someone you can talk to, someone you can depend upon and someone you can enjoy.

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