The Pygmalion Effect

Electronic communication is efficient, but it's detached. Sitting at a computer screen, the need for tact and a respectful tone disappears.

• Being on the receiving end of such impoliteness can create lingering stress and negative emotions. The recipient may find it harder to stay engaged at work. The stress associated with e-mail rudeness can spill over into family life and, like a chain reaction, can send stress signals to other people.
• A subtler form of aggression is failing to reply to a request, in effect giving others the "silent treatment." Not responding to an email leaves people hanging and struggling with uncertainty.

With remote work on the rise, the use of electronic communication has allowed incivility to thrive.

• To mitigate the stress, managers need to set clear and reasonable e-mail expectations. Organizations should create meaningful opportunities for employees to build good working relationships.
• For employees, the best option to cope is to unplug from work after-hours.
• Regardless of your level of stress, remember the rules of netiquette. Spend time composing your e-mail and notice inconsiderate expressions. Acknowledge a request and let your co-workers know when you will get back to them. Perhaps keep caps lock off.

A possible reason is that when people are the actors in the situation, they are blind to their own actions.

When they are observers, they can easily spot the behaviors of other people.

The actor-observer bias can often lead to misunderstandings and arguments.

In an argument, both sides my respond that the other person started it. Each side thinks their own behavior is because of the situation, but the other's behavior is because of their character. They may think the other person is unkind while they are fighting because they were attacked.