When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.

Signs you’re in the red light zone:

• Our values shift to me-first.  We tell ourselves that relationships ...

Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to commun...

The state of mind that exists in between open and closed.

Signs you’re in the In-Between zone:

• In practicing mindful communication, eventually we ask ourselves: what exactly causes me to switch from open to closed and then open again?
• We fin...

... when fears and misperceptions arise during the In-Between state of mind. 

The reaction of shutting down is triggered by mistrust. If we can hold steady and be a little more aware of our defensiveness, we can learn from all our episodes of reactivity. 

Defensive reactions ba...

• Realize how distorted our views of other people can be when we react defensively. 
• When we can open up and see another person in a fresh way, our own self-image transforms. 

Learning how to switch out of defensiveness into a more humorous, receptive state of mind is a ...