When we react to fear byshutting down the channel of communication, we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.
Signs you’re in the red light zone:
- Our values shift to me-first. We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important.
- Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs.
- We feel alone and emotionally hungry.Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness.
- The sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies?
- Suppressing these inner fears makes us even more rigidand out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts.