FOLLOW Defensive Reactions Zone When we react to fear by shutting down the channel of communication , we’ve put up a defensive barrier that divides us from the world.
Signs you’re in the red light zone:
Our values shift to me-first. We tell ourselves that relationships are not that important. Closed communication patterns are controlling and mistrustful. We see others as frozen objects that have importance only if they meet our needs. We feel alone and emotionally hungry. Then we look to other people to rescue us from our aloneness. T. If we are indeed isolated individuals, how do we get our supplies? How do we ward off enemies? he sense of isolation that our defensive barrier triggers is subconsciously terrifying Suppressing these and out of touch. We tighten our muscles and thoughts; we harden our hearts. inner fears makes us even more rigid
RELATED ARTICLES & IDEAS
FOLLOW How to Be Mindful in Love - Mindful
Our guide to reflect on the relationships in your life, and open yourself up to the opportunity for love to grow. It shouldn't take a holiday like Valentine's Day to remind you to pause and reflect on the relationships you value in your life.
Really see each other
Making eye contact with someone can relieve stress and create a deeper sense of connection.
Even making eye contact with a stranger can soften your heart.
Listen with all of your senses
When you talk with someone in person, notice the posture and body language of the other person. Focus on the tone in their voice. Consider the meaning of their words.
Reach out and touch someone
Touch is a way we communicate and essential to our development. Touch makes us feel safe and encourage trust, love, and compassion.
Reach out to your loved ones and see if you notice a difference.
FOLLOW A Beginner's Guide to Couples Therapy
A few years ago, I met a woman at a wedding who told me that she pictured marriage like two astronauts floating around in space, tethered together. "You're both so busy and preoccupied that it's easy to drift apart without noticing," she said.
Go Sooner Than Later
Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.
It is better to go to couples counseling during a specific life event, strengthening some piece of a rela...
Finding The Right Therapist
Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:
Both partners are comfortable with the choice. Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account. It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much. At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken. Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle. Types of Therapies
A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:
Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs. Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones. Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc. FOLLOW How Do I Bring More Mindfulness Into My Life? - Mindful
Have you ever started eating an ice cream cone, taken a lick or two, then noticed all you had was a sticky napkin in your hand? Or been going somewhere and arrived at your destination only to realize you haven't noticed anything or anyone you met along the way?
Mindlessness, or going on autopilot, can result in missing the good things in life or ignoring important information about relationships or health.
The antidote is to practice to pay more car...
Tips to practice Mindfulness Allow your mind to wander and gently return awareness to your breath sensation. Notice any tendency to be hard on yourself. See this kind of judgment and gently return awareness to your breath. Embrace relaxation and being present with awareness. Expect to notice more things, including more painful things. Practice staying present. Stay open to all the possibilities in each situation. Be careful not to try too hard. Experience life directly as it unfolds, paying careful and open-hearted attention. When starting a new activity
Start a meeting with 2 minutes of silence, your attention focussed on your breath. Or take a few mindful breaths before starting your exercise routine.
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