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Loneliness

Loneliness

It isn’t defined by the number of people in your life; instead, it’s the distance between what you want out of your relationships and what you’re getting.

So it’s absolutely possible to be lonely in a room full of people — even people you know — if you’re not getting the kind of interaction you crave.

@frankiem

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Make small talk

Have quick, non-threatening conversations throughout the day: make small talk with your barista, the cashier at the grocery store, anyone you encounter who seems receptive.

Think of them as stretching a muscle: not the same as a full workout, but beneficial nonetheless. When you’re lonely, you go inward, and just stretching that little bit can kick-start a process that helps you feel better.

Find a state of flow

Do something you find totally engaging, to the point you lose track of time.

That activity doesn’t have to be mentally engaging or intellectually rigorous. Maybe it’s reading, running, or cleaning. If you’re truly immersed in what you’re doing, no matter what it is, you won’t have the mental space to be consumed by loneliness.

Take a critical eye to your relationships, individually and as a whole, to determine what may be missing, as well as which bonds could be strengthened.

If there are people on your list who you rarely see but you genuinely value and feel connected to, prioritize them more. And if there are people that don't add up value to your life, trim them out of your life.

Refine your social media use

Social media isn't inherently isolating; it’s a tool, and its effects depend on how it’s wielded. We can use it in pro-social ways, or in antisocial ways.

Is the amount of time you’re spending on social media each helping you feel more connected to the people in your life? Or is it detracting from the close, one-on-one personal interactions you can only find off-line? 

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RELATED IDEAS

Introverts often see their social style as negative when they compare themselves to extroverts. Introverts don't need a large group of friends. Be true to yourself.

Also, find other personal interests. Taking continuing education classes or becoming a volunteer can put you in touch with like-minded people.

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IDEAS

Post-Breakup Loneliness

The process of breaking up can sometimes be compared to the death of a loved one.

  • Remember that time will help ease the pain.
  • Keeping busy can help. 
  • Do not isolate yourself— even if you feel lower than low. Lean on family and friends.
5. You Sign Contracts Together

Going into a major contract (other than marriage) with someone, such as buying property or a car, is a sign that things are pretty serious between you. Contracts are a big deal because they’re generally harder to get out of than to get into, so signing together means you expect to be committed for a long time.