Make It Clear You Want Help - Deepstash
Productivity Systems

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Productivity Systems

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Make It Clear You Want Help

... and be specific about what you want.

Don't use phrases like “Can you do me a favor? ", because they are manipulative - they force someone to commit before you tell them what it is you need. A simple “Can you help me with [specific thing]?” will do.

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Don’t Apologize

When you ask for help, you may feel inclined to apologize for taking up their time and energy. Don’t. 

This is a bad idea because putting yourself down makes the other person feel less joy in helping you. Many of us apologize too much anyway.

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Don’t Hesitate to Circle Back to People

Just because someone didn’t help you before doesn’t mean they won’t help you now

In fact, research suggests they’re more likely to help. Because they want to feel better about rejecting you previously and repair the relationship.

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Pick One Person to Ask

It’s best to ask one person instead of a group. Pick someone who you think can help you the most, or at least send individual requests to several people at once instead of dropping a line in a group chat. 

Asking a group leads to the “diffusion of responsibility” phenomenon, where no...

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Give a Timeframe and an Escape

When you ask for help, give the person some kind of timeframe or soft deadline. Phrases like “whenever you can” put more pressure on the person who is already doing you a favor. 

It’s also nice to offer them a way out if you know they’re busy. It ensures your request for help ...

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CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

alanaff

Travel aficionado Writer. Passionate social media geek. Reader.

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Overemphasizing what you want

Show a company what you can do for them. Don't put too much emphasis on what you want.

For instance, when asked "Why do you want to work here?", don't start with "I want to grow..." They really want to know how will you contribute to their business. Reframe your answer and use...

The power of "I want to help"

If you tell someone to calm down, they will probably not calm down.

Instead, validate the person's feelings and assure them you understand. Saying, "I can see you are upset, and I want to help," will go further to calm them.

Be clear with yourself about what you want

If you’re explicit with your values and goals, you are more likely to act in ways that support them.

Ask yourself, “If someone were to describe me to others, what would I want them to say?” Or, like Mitan, set a specific goal that relates to your work, and find your o...

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