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Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

The need for a change

Keep in mind that your FOMO trigger may not relate directly to something you wish you were doing yourself, but can instead point more broadly to something you want to change about your life.

Examine the source of your FOMO before dismissing it; there may be a good reason you feel insecure about your decisions.

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Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

Fighting FOMO: 4 Questions That Will Crush the Fear of Missing Out | The Art of Manliness

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/fighting-fomo-4-questions-that-will-crush-the-fear-of-missing-out/

artofmanliness.com

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Key Ideas

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

FOMO is the experience of worrying that other people are doing more interesting things than you, have more friends than you, and are just all around living a better and cooler life.

The prime source of FOMO is of course social media, which allows you to peruse the highlights of other people’s lives in real time.

What you really wish to do

Choosing one path means missing another.

When you feel FOMO coming on, ask yourself if the trigger is really something you wish you were doing yourself, or if the sudden recollection of the great number of choices in life has simply brought on a moment of insecurity about your own

If it’s the latter, taking a moment to reaffirm your decision is all it takes to chase the FOMO away.

The need for a change

Keep in mind that your FOMO trigger may not relate directly to something you wish you were doing yourself, but can instead point more broadly to something you want to change about your life.

Examine the source of your FOMO before dismissing it; there may be a good reason you feel insecure about your decisions.

What is viable for you right now

Embrace the idea of different seasons in your life.

If there’s something from a previous season in your life that you once enjoyed but doesn’t fit into it right now, instead of spending your time worried about what you’re missing out on, make the most of the uniqueness of your current season.

Representation of reality

What you see online is a groomed and sanitized image of someone else’s life. Measuring the entirety of your life against this cherry-picked peek of another’s is a recipe for feeling inadequate.

Use technology wisely

Social media outlets are merely tools – ones that can add or detract from your life depending on whether or not you deploy them wisely.

  • Set a certain time limit for using it each day.
  • Filter who you see in your news feed to those you actually care about.
  • Don’t be friends with your ex-girlfriends on Facebook.
  • Don’t engage in a FOMO arms race.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The fear of missing out (FOMO)
FOMO = the compulsive desire to experience something (or be somewhere) motivated by the fear of what you will potentially lose. And this idea of loss is usually imagined. FOMO is that i...
FOMO and the quality of our experiences
FOMO make us want to accumulate as many experiences as possible, but at the same time, it robs those experiences of any real meaning. That's because it causes people to make their decisions based not on the reality of the experience, but rather the imagined experience. 
Overcoming FOMO
The way to get out of feeling FOMO is to start killing those fantasies that you’re letting rule your decision making. And that means understanding there’s no such thing as a perfect night out or a perfect party. 
Slow down

Practice taking your time when eating, driving, talking, or engaging in the tasks of everyday living. 

Practice discernment
... in regard to distinguishing what is truly important and necessary from what is merely desirable.

Focus on the kinds of things that enhance the quality not the quantity of your experiences.


Go for the experience, not the symbol

There are always going to be people we admire and perhaps envy. It’s “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome.

Focusing on the experience—a feeling of accomplishment, adventure, connection, fun, self-respect, freedom—that underlies the object or symbol—wealth, marriage, a sports car, a luxurious home—helps us distinguish what is truly fulfilling from that which can only provide a temporary feeling of pleasure.

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FOMO Comes From Unhappiness

You’re not feeling so great — whether you realize it or not — and you turn to social media to make you feel better. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…

The Facebook Illusion

We all know that Facebook doesn’t provide a very well-rounded picture of people’s lives. It’s more like the cherry-picked perfection version.

People with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up when they post about their own carefully edited version of life awesomeness, and slams them back down when they feel they have to compete with other people's lifestyle awesomeness - especially when they're feeling a little down or anxious themselves.

The Problem Is Attention

Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. 

Changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive.

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The "Fear" in FOMO

Living with constant or recurring fear, from post-traumatic stress to paranoia to FOMO, doesn’t improve life quality; it just makes us haunted and tense.

Our task is to live in a FOMO-plag...

FOMO is based on lies

When you feel FOMO coming on, remind yourself that practically every image you see on practically any screen is likely misleading. 

The human experience depicted by the media is never the whole truth — and often an outright lie. 

Fight FOMO with FOMO

What if we let FOMO mean something else? 

  • Fear of Moving On. With this definition, you remind yourself that fixating on things you may be missing is just another way of resisting your own life, your own unfolding destiny.
  • Find One Magnificent Object. When FOMO strikes, let it prompt you to contemplate something wonderful: the sun, a bowl of soup, your own hand.
  • Feel Okay More Often. Realize that simple equanimity, along with the enjoyment of small things, is the healthy diet that yields sustainable happiness.

Try inventing your own FOMO definition. 

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FOMO Meaning
The “fear of missing out” refers to the feeling of “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.”

Most people at one time or another have been preoccupi...

Relish feeling out of the loop
Admit that you are missing out and there’s nothing you can do about it. 

Blogger and entrepreneur Anil Dash wrote about the “Joy of Missing Out,” a term he coined to describe the satisfaction of doing things on his own terms. 

Refrain from social media
Try staying offline for a day, a week, or maybe even a month to wake up to the wonders of the real world. 

If you return, decide which sites to spent time on and which not.

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We see things differently
We see things differently

Two people can look at the exact same situation and see it completely differently.

We see life as we are, not as it is

There is no objective reality when it comes to people.

Facts may be facts, but our viewpoint and our vantage point impact our ability to process the facts. We look at life through our own personal filters, our own past experiences, beliefs, and paradigms.

Giving in relationships

If you do something for someone just because they did it for you or you want something back, you are doing business, not kindness.

If you choose to give 300 percent, then go for it, regardless of what others give you in return.

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The Ritual Of Gratitude
The Ritual Of Gratitude

Setting aside time daily for practising gratitude, for the littlest of things life has bestowed us with, can have a profound effect on our minds and our lives. Things to be grateful for:

    ...
The Painful Days

During the most painful days, or when one is upset, is procrastinating, sick or injured, or having relationship issues, it is easy to forget the good parts, and therefore extremely important to 'balance the scales' by remembering what you are grateful for.

Be thankful for having the energy and power to heal, for the time provided to you on this planet, and for the way challenges help you grow wiser.

One chooses to be grateful, focusing on the little miracles of life, no matter what the circumstances.

Survivorship bias refers to our tendency to focus on the winners while completely forgetting about the losers who are employing the same strategy.


Loss aversion refers to our tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains.

Loss aversion refers to our tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains.

Availability Heuristic appears when we assume that the examples coming to mind easily are the most prevalent.

Availability Heuristic appears when we assume that the examples coming to mind easily are the most prevalent.

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All fears are not created equal

Some are useful, and some are useless fears that you can't or shouldn't do anything about. 

They sap your strength for no reason, and you shou...

Fear can harm you

In scuba diving, for instance, fear can cause you to breathe too fast, swim too hard, move too suddenly, fail to take note of your surroundings, or rise too quickly toward the surface.

Knowing that fear has the potential to harm you can help you set it aside. Fold up that fear, put it in a box, and promise you'll get back to it later at a less dangerous time.

Fear and chemicals

You may think it's your judgment deciding that something is dangerous and you should be afraid, but what actually happens is that fear chemicals are flooding into your brain.

Experiments have shown that fear can be induced artificially by injecting certain chemicals. Do the chemicals know what you should and shouldn't be afraid of? They don't. You do.

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Getting an early start
Getting an early start

Plan your morning the night before and stick to your plan. 
If a new task comes in that isn’t 100% urgent, designate a time that you’ll work on it uninterrupted or try to delegate the probl...

Deciding where to work
  • If you know you’re more likely to work from home, invest in comfortable furniture; you feel good it will inspire you to get work done.
  • If you want to join a local co-working space but are intimidated by the price point, ask about smaller memberships to start.
Prioritizing tasks

Don’t let your skepticism about productivity hacks get in the way of finding a technique that suits you and helps you get things done.
If you’re still having a hard time identifying priorities, try working backward by identifying work that’s definitely not a priority. Eliminate those items and assess what’s left.

2 more ideas