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Have Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is being willing to look at your mistakes or failures with kindness and understanding—without harsh criticism or defensiveness. 

Most of us believe that we need to be hard on ourselves to perform at our best, but it turns out that a dose of self-compassion when things are at their most difficult can reduce your stress and improve your performance, by making it easier to learn from your mistakes. 

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Rely on Routines

Every time you make a decision, you create a state of mental tension that is, in fact, stressful. 

The solution is to reduce the number of decisions you need to make by using routines. If there's something you need to do every day, do it at the same time every day. Have a routine for...

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Use If-Then Statements

If-then plans can help us control our emotional responses to stress. Simply decide what kind of response you would like to have instead of feeling stress, and make a plan that links your desired response to the situations that tend to raise your blood pressure.

For example, "If I ...

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Do Something You Find Interesting

Interest doesn't just keep you going despite fatigue, it actually replenishes your energy.  Keep in mind:

  • Interesting is not the same thing as pleasant, fun, or relaxing (though they are certainly not mutually exclusive.) 
  • Interesting does not have to mean effortless

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Remember the "Big Picture"

Thinking Big Picture about the work you do can be very energizing in the face of stress and challenges because you are linking one particular, often small action to a greater meaning or purpose. 

Something that may not seem important or valuable on its own gets cast in a whole new li...

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Promotion Or Prevention

  • Some people think of their jobs as opportunities for achievement and accomplishment—they have a promotion focus: all about maximizing gains and avoiding missed opportunities. 
  • For others, doing a job well is about security, about not losing the positions they've worked so hard...

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Be Good Vs. Get Better Mindset

  • When you have a Be-Good mindset, you expect to be able to do everything perfectly right out of the gate, and you constantly (often unconsciously) compare yourself to other people.
  • A Get-Better mindset leads to self-comparison and a concern with making progress—how well ...

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Add Where and When to Your To-Do List

To the tasks on your to-do list, add a specific when and where to each. Try the if-then planning (or the  "implementation intentions").

For example, "Remember to call Bob" becomes "If it is Tuesday after lunch, then I'll call Bob." This enables you to seize...

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The Progress Principle

The idea that it's the "small wins" that keep us going, particularly in the face of stressors.

It can be enormously helpful to take a moment and reflect on what you've accomplished so far before turning your attention to the challenges that remain ahead.

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george_ii

Never give up. Always find a reason to keep trying.

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Self-Compassion

Self-compassion works much better than self-criticism when we have to deal with failures, or not reaching a certain goal.

People who exercise self-compassion tend to develop a willingness to learn from their mistakes. They find it easier to recover from setbacks and pursue...

Correcting our assumptions about self-compassion

  • Notice what you believe about self-compassion. What do you think would happen if you were self-compassionate? What would happen if you let go of harsh self-criticism?
  • Notice how you talk to yourself. Is your self-talk negative? Do you hold yourself...

Practice Self-Compassion

It’s important to show yourself some compassion, ditch the harsh self-criticism, and learn to be kinder to yourself.

A great way to practice self-compassion is to ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who felt this way or had this problem?” Chances are, you'd be kind....

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