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Correcting our assumptions about self-compassion
- Notice what you believe about self-compassion. What do you think would happen if you were self-compassionate? What would happen if you let go of harsh self-criticism?
- Notice how you talk to yourself. Is your self-talk negative? Do you hold yourself to impossible standards?
- Examine your assumptions about self-compassion.
At first, self-compassion might feel odd, scary or difficult. Be patient with yourself. Getting better at self-compassion takes practice.
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Three ingredients of self-compassion
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness with which you'd treat a loved one. Self-compassion consists of three ingredients:
- Self-kindness: Offering warmth and understanding to yourself.
- Common humanity
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We can all cultivate compassion
It is not an elusive trait reserved for a few lucky ones. We can train our self-compassion, for example, through writing exercises (writing a letter to yourself from the perspective of a caring friend), imagery, or meditations. These exe...
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Self-compassion is a healthy response to suffering
Researchers found that self-compassion helps people take personal responsibility for problems and help them persist when facing obstacles.
If we are self-compassionate, we create a safe space to look at our embarrassing missteps. We can recognise that fa...
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Your words of self-talk are your fuel
You can either fill your tank with criticism or with compassion. Both will get you moving, but self-compassion will last longer and cause less damage over time.
When you practice being kind to yourself, you will find it easier to get up if you failed at so...
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Befriending yourself
From a young age, we learn how to be a good friend to others. We learn how to share and to treat others how we want to be treated.
Yet, many of us don't receive guidance on how to treat ourselves with kindness. We might even believe that being kind towards ourselves is self-indulgent or w...
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Practice Self-Compassion
It’s important to show yourself some compassion, ditch the harsh self-criticism, and learn to be kinder to yourself.
A great way to practice self-compassion is to ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who felt this way or had this problem?” Chances are, you'd be kind....
4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to fr...
Practice self-compassion
If you remember a negative emotional response that triggered past procrastination, start thinking about how you can reframe the task. You can look at the task as an opportunity to learn a new skill, or frame it as a fun and enjoyable task.
Don't beat yourself up too much if...
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