Be conscious not to point blame at your partner by phrasing sentences that start with words such as “You make me... “ or “You didn’t…” Instead, begin by saying, “I feel hurt when…” or “I’m upset when…” Your partner will be less likely to be defensive if you don’t sound as though you’re in attack mode.
The water could be inducing a mildly meditative state of calm focus and gentle awareness. When we're by the water, our brains are held in a state of mild attentiveness. In this state, the brain is interested and engaged in the water, taking in sensory input but not distracted by an overload of it.
Great leaders know that finger-pointing does not solve problems. It only adds new ones. Instead, a leader starts problem-solving by narrowing down the issue. When the problem has been addressed and potentially solved, they ask their team members what they learned from the experience and how they can improve vulnerable areas.
How to take a solution-oriented approach to resolving problems - Thrive Global
Comment on the issue, not the person . Example, “The clothes are dirty” and not “You are dirty.” Don’t make personal attack s. Comments like “I’m so tired of…” or “You’re so... ” come across as accusatory. Use passive voice instead of active to shift the attention from the person to the subject matter. Example: "You were bad." vs "What you did was bad." Share how it affects you instead of how bad it was to shifts the focus from the person and to yourself, which lets the person take a step back to evaluate the situation while giving insight to where you are coming from.
How to Give Constructive Criticism: 6 Helpful Tips | Personal Excellence