deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

How to Win an Argument - Dos, Don'ts and Sneaky Tactics

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-win-arguments-dos-donts-and-sneaky-tactics.html

lifehack.org

How to Win an Argument - Dos, Don'ts and Sneaky Tactics
Whining children are not enjoyable to be around. The sound of incessant whining can be like fingernails on a chalkboard. Nobody wants to listen to whining. There are solutions to help stop the whining. Below are my top 8 tips to get the whining to stop.

4

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

Do

  1. Stay calm. If you lose your temper – you lose.
  2. Use facts as evidence for your position.
  3. Ask questions. 
  4. Use logic to undermine your opponent.
  5. Appeal to worthy motives that are hard to disagree with.
  6. Listen carefully.
  7. Be prepared to concede a good point. 
  8. Study your opponent. You can appeal to their higher values or exploit their weaknesses.
  9. Look for a win-win. Be open-minded to a compromise position.

284 SAVES

335 READS

VIEW

Don’t

Don’t
  1. Get personal. Attack the issue, not the person. 
  2. Get distracted by new and extraneous themes. 
  3. Water down your strong arguments with weak ones.

203 SAVES

245 READS

Sneaky Ways to Consider

  1. Use punchy one-liners, like: That begs the question. That is beside the point. You’re being defensive. Don’t compare apples and oranges.
  2. Ridicule and humiliate your opponent. This can be very effective in front of an audience.
  3. Deliberately provoke your adversary until they lose their temper and so the argument.
  4. Throw in diversions that deflect the other person from their main point.
  5. Exaggerate your opponent’s position and then show how ridiculous and unreasonable the exaggerated position is.
  6. Vigorously denounce each of your opponent’s arguments as fallacious but just select one or two that you can defeat to prove the point. Then assume that you have won.

211 SAVES

221 READS

Arguments between two people

They are very different from a debate in front of an audience.

  • You are trying to win over the other person, so look for ways of building consensus and do not be belligerent in making your points.
  • In front of an audience, you can use all sorts of theatrical and rhetorical devices to bolster your case and belittle your adversary.

151 SAVES

156 READS

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The Psychology Of Behavior

In trying to change a behavior, reason will take you only so far, incentives must be taken into account as well. 

In psychology, operant conditioning is a type of learning in whi...

Continuous Versus Intermittent Reinforcement

Studies on reinforcement revealed that the best way for us to learn complex behaviors is via continuous reinforcement, in which the desired behavior is rewarded every time it’s performed. Consistency and timing are the keys.

Nonetheless, some argue that intermittent reinforcement is the most efficient way to maintain an already learnt behavior. It consists of giving reinforcement only some of the times that the desired behavior occurs.

The Benefits Of Intermittent Reinforcement

  • Rewarding the behavior immediately may take time away from the behavior’s continuation.
  • It’s cheaper not to reward every instance of a desired behavior.
  • By making the rewards unpredictable, you trigger excitement and thus get an increase in response without increasing the amount of reinforcement.
  • Since the person is already adapted to not always being rewarded, they take longer to stopping the behavior when reinforcement is removed.

3 more ideas

Dale Carnegie

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatur..."

Dale Carnegie

Handling People

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Appreciation and flattery

  • Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
  • Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.

Keep Learning: Adult Beginners

It is a myth that experts commit fewer errors than beginners. The Dunning-Kruger Effect states that people who are bad at something are often unaware of the fact, and are ...

The Curse Of The Experts

Experts, who are skilled and are aware of their knowledge, tend to be more efficient in their handling of problems.

However, the skills, knowledge and expertise often turn into a handicap, a blindspot that makes the expert commit errors in certain situations where a more agile, fresh and innovative solution is required.

Children: Natural Beginners

As we struggle in the settings of our laptop/phone/iPad, we see that children conquer these gadgets almost instantaneously. This is because everything is new for them, and they have a true beginner's mindset.

Children see the world with no burden of past experience, and less junk knowledge inside their heads, which are mostly restrictions. They are not worried about sounding foolish, so they ask questions that most of us wouldn’t.