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10 Simple Habits That Will Noticeably Improve Your Social Skills

Remember people's names

Ask people to repeat their names. If it's hard, ask them to spell it for you. Repeat after them. 

If you forget, ask someone else from the group, "Hey, what was the name of the guy in a red shirt? I forgot." Do whatever you have to do to remember. And then call people by their names. People love that.

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10 Simple Habits That Will Noticeably Improve Your Social Skills

10 Simple Habits That Will Noticeably Improve Your Social Skills

https://www.inc.com/quora/10-simple-habits-that-will-noticeably-improve-your-social-skills.html

inc.com

10

Key Ideas

Listen to people

Most people are not listening, but rather trying to be the loudest person in the room. 

If you ask questions and listen, you are extremely likely to stand out from the crowd. 

Be interested in people's stories

Interested people are interesting. Ask people questions. 

Try to learn something you did not know before from your interlocutor.

Find where you interact better

Do you function better in 1-on-1 conversations or in a large crowd?

This is an important distinction and knowing how you function best will help you create the best environment for your social skills to shine.

Don't be too negative

... or ironic and don't complain all the time. 

All of these behaviors are people repellent. We naturally gravitate towards people who are kind, loving, cheerful, and funny, rather than to those who complain all the time.

Remember people's names

Ask people to repeat their names. If it's hard, ask them to spell it for you. Repeat after them. 

If you forget, ask someone else from the group, "Hey, what was the name of the guy in a red shirt? I forgot." Do whatever you have to do to remember. And then call people by their names. People love that.

Remember people's stories

Remember the names of people's family members, pets, hobbies, details about the job, a side gig, what are they obsessed with, remember as much as you can. 

People appreciate when they realize that you actually listened to them and remembered their story.

Don't fill every gap with talking

Conversations are two-way streets. 

However, sometimes it's perfectly fine to say, "Wow, that's really cool." You don't always need to have a follow-up story, or the answer or the opinion. Ask your interlocutor another question. Nod your head. Be silent. 

Follow up

The truest power of networking lies in following up. That is how relationships are built. 

Try to come up with the recommendation during the conversation and then promise to follow up with the link/recipe/code/useful person's contact, etc. And do it. This will show that you are caring, diligent, consistent, and reliable. 

Know when to leave

Nobody wants to chat only with you for hours. 

Have a nice conversation and move on.

The ultimate social skill

Love people, respect people, admire people, be interested in what people are going through, compliment people, see the best in people, forgive people, don't judge people, help people, shower people with your love. 

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The 2 most important networking skills

 ...you can develop are listening and asking questions

These 2 skills will impress your clients even more than your best business statistics.

How to Be a Good Listener

Good listening is active, not passive:

  • Maintain eye contact.
  • Do not fidget, shift your body weight often, and never look at your watch! 
  • Nod your head to show agreement but do not interrupt to make your point or share your own experiences.
  • Respond by repeating at least one key point the person you are talking with just made in the form of a question. 
How to Ask the Right Questions

Keep questions positive and focused.

Ask a question that is on-topic whenever possible. If the topic is negative, do not just suddenly change topics. It will make the speaker uncomfortable. Instead, give an empathetic reply to show support and then ask a question to redirect to something that is still related, but allows the speaker to respond with something a little more positive.

Make friends, not contacts

Friends do business with friends.

By no means is this a suggestion to go be one of those social climbers who pretends to make friends in the name of getting to the top. It's more ab...

Listening

One of the best networking hacks in the world.

People with knowledge tend to hold back what they know under the presumption that you aren't really interested in what they have to say. But if you listen and show not only your interest but your appreciation, they will share. They will share everything they know, and then some. So not only is this a learning opportunity for you, but it becomes one of the fastest ways to make friends and build an incredible network.

Ask for an introduction

Everybody knows someone. If you want to meet someone in particular, ask the people you know if they know anyone who knows the person--and then ask them to make an introduction.

At the end of the day, a warm lead is always better than a cold lead. If you can get in the door with some sort of referral, that will always be better than a cold email or phone call.

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Convey genuine appreciation

Actively project warmth and high energy. People like you when they feel liked by you.

To make it clear you’re interested in the other person, think about what they know that you don...

Listen with intent

Being a good listener is about two things: 

  1. Demonstrating that you’ve heard exactly what was said by the other person.
  2. Encouraging them to continue. This breaks down into what’s called “backchanneling” — offering short, enthusiastic responses as the other person talks (i.e. “yeah” “mm-hmm” “totally” “I can see that”), and asking follow up questions that reference the information you were just given.
Use humility markers

Acknowledging your own fallibility and human imperfection can go a long way toward making yourself relatable. Especially if there’s a power dynamic where someone is asking for your advice, attention or help, you want to put the other person at ease.

Taking the time to call or meet in person also expresses humility.

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