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How to Cope With Rejection

Rejection

Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. 

Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for something: acceptance, approval, the good opinion of friends and family—the good opinion of anyone at all-- there is the risk and, indeed, the certainty of rejection from time to time.

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How to Cope With Rejection

How to Cope With Rejection

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201308/how-cope-rejection

psychologytoday.com

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Key Ideas

Rejection

Rejection and failure and disappointment are a regular feature of ordinary life, no matter how successful someone may be. 

Any set of circumstances in which one reaches out for something: acceptance, approval, the good opinion of friends and family—the good opinion of anyone at all-- there is the risk and, indeed, the certainty of rejection from time to time.

Keep the odds in mind

Know ahead of time what the chances are of a particular effort for being successful. 

If the odds are long, that is not a reason for not trying; it is a reason not to be discouraged by failure.

For instance, sending in a resume in response to an advertised job has been studied. Approximately two percent receive a response. That is not an argument for giving up. It is a matter of the odds. Sending in a couple of hundred resumes shifts the odds in your favor. 

Keep more than one iron in the fire

Having a manuscript rejected by one publishing house is less devastating if that book is being considered at the same time somewhere else.

An unsuccessful job interview does not feel so bad if another one is scheduled for tomorrow.

Rejection doesn't define you

Rejection is not a reflection of who you are. People get turned down for every sort of thing for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with merit. 

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Don't become sensitive to rejection
Many times the rejection does 50 percent of the damage and we do the other 50 percent of the damage. 

We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the ...

Rejection hurts

Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.

Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.

Identifying the hardest-hit

People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.

Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.

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Importance of failure

We need to start talking about failure as life's master instructor. Experiences in failure are less about not finding success than they are about problem solving, and the skills cultivated a...

People who turned failing into success
  • JK Rowling. One of the most powerful modern writers whose net worth hovers around $1 billion was once living on welfare.
  • Walt Disney. Before the Disney empire was built, he was fired as a writer for lacking imagination and good ideas.
  • Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job as a news anchor for being too emotionally invested in the stories she covered.
  • Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California's School of Cinematic Arts multiple times. Today, the profit of his movies exceeds $9 billion.

  • Lady GaGa, with 6 Grammy awards and entry to the Songwriters Hall of Fame, was dropped as a young artist after 3 months with record label Island Def Jam. 

  • Stephen King's failure and rejection as a writer persisted well into his adult years, before striking gold with his story, Carrie.

Friend-zoning

Friend-zoning is a notion that men and women have different perspectives.

Men are more frequently attracted to their opposite-sex friends, even if they state that it's just a platonic rela...

We Don't Know Ourselves

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

Taking The Lead

Men look for signs or attraction more than women do, like it has always been. Men initiate the love and take the lead, deciding to move out of a platonic relationship faster than women.

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