Learning and winning

 ... often results in loss of productivity, the stifling of creativity, and the creation of barriers to cooperation and collaboration.

Leaders who don’t deal with conflict will eventually watch their good talent walk out the door in search of a healthier and safer work environment.

1. Communication: Conflict due to the lack of information, poor information, no information, or misinformation. Clear, concise, accurate, and timely communication of information will help to ease both the number and severity of conflicts.
2. Emotions: Letting emotions drive decisions. Don't place emotional superiority ahead of achieving your mission.

Showing empathy will lower the temperature of the debate and allow both of you to come to a resolution.

If you appear to be giving the other side’s position a thoughtful review, then the solution you propose will seem to be far more sensible. Furthermore, your opponent may come to your side without you having to do anything other than listening.

• It helps to create effective brand messaging.  It determines how your brand is perceived and also builds trust with customers.
• Customer service relies on good communication. "60% of consumers have stopped doing business with a brand due to a poor customer service experience."  Microsoft’s 2016 Global State of Customer Service Report.
• It enables positive team relationships.  Effective communication helps to unite teams and create a safe environment to express themselves.

• It helps to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. It can help to defuse a potentially explosive dispute while bad communication can set it off.

1. Using a One-Size-Fits-All Communication Approach. Tailor the communication style to the intended audience.
2. Speaking More and Listening Less. Listen to what is said, how it is said, and to what is not said.
3. Assuming Instead of Asking More Questions.
4. Using Negative Tone. Choose words carefully to eliminate negative reactions.

5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

6. Reacting, Not Responding.

7. Not Keeping an Open Mind. Accept and respect differences, listen without judgment and consider all sides of an issue.

When we are in conflict, our view of the other person becomes so narrow that we do not see them as a fleshed-out person. 

Try to assume that the other person is acting in good faith. That baseline assumption can get you through plenty of instances of misplaced tone and timing.  

Good communication is a full-body experience. It’s how we breathe. It’s our tone. It’s our gestures. 

Cultivate habits like keeping an open expression, avoid defaulting to crossed arms, and taking deep breaths to help change the tenor of an interaction.

Humor and status have always been tightly linked: good leaders seem to often use humor in order to motivate their team members' actions. As individuals, we tend to prefer, researchers claim, jokes that make us laugh while feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Furthermore, we perceive the joke teller as a self-confident person, who could easily become a leader due to his or her courage to make such a joke. The key point here is that the joke should be appropriate and match the context.

Making inside jokes usually shows how bounded a team or a group is: their jokes can understood the best by themselves.

However, the moment an outsider integrates the group, it is better to avoid the inside jokes, as this will most probably make him or her feel out of place.

A way to view conflict not as a problem to be managed or resolved,  but as an opportunity to strengthen the common life of any group.

1. View conflict as opportunity. Learn to see conflict as a valuable look beneath the surface of your organization.
2. Respect your adversary. Pride is the primary obstacle to transforming conflict. 
3. Identify primary issues. Always look beyond the presenting issue to name the real problem.
4. Envision a shared future. Begin with the question “How can we create something better for both of us?”
5. Know when to quit. If the other party is committed to being contentious, you may need to walk away—or at least maintain a holding pattern. 
6. Capture the learning. Capture—and communicate—the lessons from the current conflict so they help you navigate a future one.

• All issues are best dealt with as soon as all involved are calm.
• Start with one-on-one conversations to get the details of the issue from both perspectives.
• Recognize that there is no objective reality of the situation.

• Policy Conflicts: disagreements about how to deal with a situation that affects both parties. 
• Value Conflicts: they are typically pretty difficult to resolve because they are more ingrained.
• Ego Conflicts: losing an argument, or being thought of as wrong, can actually damage a person’s self-esteem. This is like a power struggle.

• Frustration and stress
• Misunderstandings
• Lack of planning
• Bad staff selection
• Poor Communication

The goal of an effective 1:1 is not an update from your direct report or for you to lay down some instructions. It's a conversation. It's a chance to hear about your direct reports' ideas for your product, their career goals, and possibly their opinion of their performance.

Keep a list of three potential topics ready for discussion. When they say they have nothing to discuss, you can jumpstart the conversation with one of your items.

Your most precious resource is your own time and energy. When you spend it on your team, it helps build healthy relationships.

Your job as a manager isn't to give advice or 'save the day.'' It's to empower your reports to find the answer themselves. If you want to understand what's going on, ask. Let her lead the conversation while you listen and probe.

There is a need for conflict in teams for their effective functioning.

• It allows team members to see difficult situations.
• It helps put forward alternative solutions and diverse perspectives.
• It acts as a strength test for the solutions found.

A nice person's self-image is based on pleasing and agreeing with others.

Instead of just agreeing and being nice, one should add unique value and perspective.

If you only agree with everyone, you may even not be that valuable to the team.