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Understand the person's intentions
Even when it may seem that the person is just out to get you, there is always some underlying reason that is motivating them to act this way.
Try to identify the person's trigger: What is making him/her act in this manner? What is stopping him/her from cooperating with you? How can you help to meet his/her needs and resolve the situation?
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
Unless you know that anger will trigger the person into action and you are consciously using it as a strategy to move him/her, it is better to assume a calm persona.
In all likelihood, your colleagues, managers and friends must have experienced similar situations in some way or another. They will be able to see things from a different angle and offer a different take on the situation.
Letting them in on the reason behind your actions and the full background of what is happening will enable them to empathize with your situation.
This lets them get them on-board much easier.
Connect with your colleagues on a personal level. Go out with them for lunches or dinners. Get to know them as people, and not colleagues. Learn more about their hobbies, their family, their lives. Foster strong connections. These will go a long way in your work.
If you are going to treat the person with disrespect, it's not going to be a surprise if he/she treats you the same.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Acknowledge that the situation has already occurred.
Rather than harp on what you cannot change, focus on the actionable steps you can take to forward yourself in the situation.
Get on your daily tasks and interface with the person only where needed.
This is considered the trump card and shouldn't be used unless you've completely exhausted your means.
RELATED IDEAS
- Give the difficult person a chance to finish without interrupting.
- Ask clarifying questions if confused, and use paraphrasing and mirroring to check the accuracy of hearing.
- Acknowledge the other person's feelings. So, if the other person is angry, say, "You must be feeling very frustrated..."
Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others?
The idea is to remain as neutral as possible. Just listening may be enough to allow someone to feel like they have the opportunity to say what’s on their mind.
Separate the facts from your assumptions.
Separate yourself and your reactions from the negative emotions you may be feeling in the moment.