Simone Weil

Tying your self-worth to everyone else’s opinions gives you a flawed sense of reality because people judge us based on a pool of influences in their own lives that have absolutely nothing to do with us.

We need to learn from the past, but also to be ready to update what we learned based on how our circumstances have changed.

It happens when we focus on how you believe other people are doing you wrong or what you think they are doing to cause you pain. It means focusing on other people's flaws and how you feel mistreated.
This fuels feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair.

How someone else treats you is outside your control.
But noticing who or what you are exposing yourself to is within your control. And so you should focus on that.