Most of us misunderstand love to be all about holding on to the other person, trying to fix them and taking care of them in all ways possible.
We need detachment to not take personally other people's reactions, to not seek outside validation and to draw boundaries so that others don’t control us.
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Montaigne's idea is to enjoy all the good things of life without taking any of them seriously. He gardens but he doesn't care if it's imperfect. He has a family but doesn't expect too much from them. This allows us to be a little bit more sane and happier.
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