Asking For Help

Many try and fail to solve their problems alone before starting psychotherapy, but many issues need specialized training or have biological components that a normal individual can’t handle on their own.

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7 Tips for Saying No Effectively
Say it . Don't delay and don't try making excuses because that puts people in a place to ask more. Provide a brief explanation. Be assertive and courteous You might say, "I'm sorry I can't right now but will let you know when and if I can." This approach is polite, and puts you in a position of power by changing the dynamic. You're taking charge, telling people you'll let them know when and if you can. Understand peoples' tactics . Many people and organizations use manipulation techniques, whether knowingly or not. Set boundaries. When you truly understand the dynamic and your role, you won't feel as worried about the consequences of saying no. You'll realize that your relationship is solid and can withstand your saying no. Put the question back on the person asking. Let's say a supervisor is asking you to take on several tasks--more than you can handle. You might say, "I'm happy to do X, Y, and Z; however, I would need three weeks, rather than two, to do a good job. How would you like me to prioritize them?" Be firm . Stand firm, and don't feel compelled to give in just because that person is uncomfortable. Be selfish . Put your needs first. Not those of the person asking you for something.
7 Tips for Saying No Effectively
Tips To Better Ask For Help
Demonstrate that you've tried to help yourself. Briefly explain what you've tried independently so they know you've tried to solve your problem for yourself before. Demonstrate that you've acted on the person's advice previously so they won’t be weary you might be wasting their time and not following through. Consider the timing of your request and asked them when they are free to help so you’re not inconveniencing others. Use the "Foot in the Door" or "The Door in the Face." In the former a small request that gets the person into "yes" mode is followed by a larger request, while in the latter a large request is denied and followed by a smaller request, which seems more reasonable due to the earlier unreasonable request. Don't make someone guess what you want , be precise. Make your requests using multiple channels in customer-service situations. If you don't succeed at first, hang up and try again with a different representative, or switch to a different customer-service channel. Offer or give more help than you ask for to make people more receptive to your requests.
7 Effective Ways to Ask for Help (and Get It)
Reinforce A Request For Help
In-group: Assuring that you’re on the helper’s team and the team’s importance taps into our need to belong to and perpetuate supportive social circles. Positive identity: Creating or enhancing their recognition that they are uniquely placed to provide assistance and that they aren’t just “people who can help” but routinely helpful people. Effectiveness: People want to know the impact of the aid they will give. Knowing one’s actions have an effect is a fundamental human motivation.
The Right Way to Ask for Help at Work
Other Tips From Jordan Peterson For a Better Life
Consider that any hierarchy creates winners and losers . The winners are more likely to justify the hierarchy and the losers to criticize it. Understand that hierarchy is inescapable. The pursuit of goals lends life meaning and the collective pursuit of goals produces hierarch, as some are more competent than others. Beware of single cause interpretations and t will hose who purvey them. Things are rarely as simple. Understand that power is one of the fundamental motivational forces, not the only one. Competence should be your measure of status, not power. Understand that group membership cannot capture individual complexity, signing up to it can be detrimental . Don’t expect people to read your mind. In confrontations, tell them what you expect instead of what they are doing or have done. Try to face your challenges yourself, unnecessary dependence is dangerous. Understand that harassment sometimes is just a veiled test of competence and character. Accept that most mature women want a man that will challenge and better them. It’s important to ask why people don’t behave in a certain way as much as why they do. Our ancestors had behaviors and rules we often dismiss but doing so comes with the risk of introducing new or old problems. Make decisions , here and now, even though the best means and goals can’t be discerned with certainty. An aim provides the structure necessary for action and reduces anxiety, because having no aim everything can mean anything or nothing. Don’t expect external solutions to your problems, find the truth and devise ways to solve them yourself. Identify your contribution to problems , fix them if possible and let others know you made a mistake. Aim for Paradise, and concentrate on today.
12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson: Summary, Notes, and Lessons - Nat Eliason