If you have a set way of looking at the world or doing things that are 180-degrees different from your partner’s, don’t nag them to change how they do things; respect the differences that exist and let yourself off the hook for being the “expert” in everything.
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Ask yourself these questions:
When a child grows up in a dysfunctional home with unavailable parents, the child takes on the role of caretaker, learn to put the parents need first, and repress and disregard their own needs.
As the child becomes an adult, he or she repeats the same dynamic in their adult relationships.
Resentment builds when you don’t recognize your own needs and wants. A common behavioral tendency is to overreact or lash out when your partner lets you down.
Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times.
They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them.
At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevents you from appearing too dependent.
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
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