You communicate a genuine interest when you inquire or listen to the small details that make up your partner’s day. It’s those insignificant moments that make up the reality of our lives.

Make small talk

Simply spending time together doing unimportant and supposedly meaningless activities—reading the paper, listening to music, watching TV, or doing laundry—can be more important to the health of a relationship than talking about feelings.

Increase your "insignificant" experiences

Don’t assume that you know the answers.

Ask questions

Finding a healthy balance between talking and listening is difficult in most relationships, but even harder as you get to know each other, so it’s important that you both get a chance to talk and listen.

Talk and listen 

We feel closer to others when we can talk about the experiences we have in common. <div>Words are not necessary for shared feelings to improve a relationship. Just doing something at the same time—riding bikes, watching a movie, or eating dessert, intensifies both pleasant and unpleasant experiences.</div>

Shared experiences

Knowing that you are being heard is one of the experiences most likely to cement a feeling of connection to another. Use a technique called “active listening” - a form of listening in which you acknowledge that you understand what is being said.

Listen carefully

Are you having trouble talking about your feelings with someone you love? Does your partner run the other way any time you bring up your feelings? If so, this may be good news for you: According to recent research, talking about your feelings is not the only-or even necessarily the best-way for couples to maintain healthy, happy and successful relationships.