Know your boundaries, let other people also know them.
Jul 25, 2020
Crab mentality is a phenomenon where people react negatively, in terms of their thoughts, statements, or actions, to those who get ahead of them, even though they don’t expect there to be direct benefits to doing so.
For example, crab mentality can cause someone to discourage or sabotage their friend who is starting to do well at school, simply because they’re bitter about struggling with their own studies.
The moral and aesthetic values of people can be pulled in opposite directions. Serial killers like Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy were infamous but had lots of female fans that sent them letters and attended their court hearings.
However, they were already perceived as attractive despite their crimes and some reprobates behave well with a small number of people. This does not support the aesthetic of moral wickedness but further the fact that beauty is seen as good.
Sympathy is when you feel pity at someone, or are sad due to the hardships of a person. Empathy is when you are able to put yourself into what they are going through.
Example: If someone gets a fracture while bike riding, you feel sympathy for them, but if someone gets a fracture and you also fell from your bike and suffered a fracture a while ago, you feel empathy for them.
Social life can be full of uncertainty. Friends don't always smile back at you. Strangers sometimes look upset. The question is how you interpret these situations. Do you take everything personally or do you think there are reasons they behave that way that has nothing to do with you?
While most people tend to overcome socially ambiguity with ease, knowing it is unavoidable, other people tend to see themselves as perpetual victims. They believe that one's life is entirely under the control of forces outside one's self.
From a young age, we learn that not everyone is on our side, and not all situations are going to go our way.
Over time, we build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves from these hurts.
Sometimes a friendship can become so painful or unhealthy that we need to end it.
But we often don't have clear guidance or formulas to make these decisions. Our negative emotions drive our thoughts and may cause us to make poor decisions and lose relationships we could have kept.
According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A friend can be a close (or best) friend after about 200 hours.
Our old and former friends know intimate details of a part of our lives, but do not have an idea about our present selves, due to the years or decades of separation. This can feel disorienting, as suddenly a person with whom one was once so close, appears like a stranger.
Conventional grief, the kind of grief that occurs after the loss of a loved one, or even loss of one’s dreams, is commonly discussed and understood.
Anticipatory grief is a lesser-known dimension of grief, something which occurs before death (or any great loss).
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