Focus on one issue at a time
Even if you have a few issues that you feel the need to discuss, experts advise that you bring up a maximum of one item per conversation.
If you ignore this rule, you will overwhelm your partner with your avalanche of criticism, and he/she will shut down. Eventually, nothing will be solved.
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How you say something is as important as what you say.
Research shows that when you look at your partner in the eye even in time of conflict and say, ‘I love you,’ the brain is prompted to release bonding hormones.
Many spouses only voice their love when they are content with the status of the relationship. Your expression of love for your partner should not be dependent on the atmosphere.
Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:
During intimacy, hormones that are responsible for bonding and attachment are released. The more you are attached to your partner, the better your communication becomes.
Bringing up past behavior to defend the present day stance hinders your relationship from moving forward.
After an argument, always move forward with a fresh slate. Resurrecting old wounds will increase the intensity of your discussion and steer it in an entirely different direction; far away from a resolution.
While you want to tell your partner everything, it is wise to find the correct time to do so.
Something that may be rejected if you express it now may actually be heard or considered by your partner if you bring it up at a different time.
Having fun together brings you and your partner closer. Pick a common hobby or have regular date nights.
The closer you are, the more you are inclined to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.
It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.
Experts recommend that for any conversation, you should have a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative statements.
Comparing your partner negatively to someone will be counterproductive to your discussion. Also, stay away judgment words and loaded terms.
Taking responsibility for your actions shows that you are mature.
Remember, there is no shame in admitting that you made a mistake. What is illogical is adopting an egoistic stance that prevents you and your partner from moving forward.
Put the feelings of your partner before your need to be understood.
Even when you are arguing, be careful what you say and how you say it. An angry or dejected partner is less likely to engage in a conversation effectively.
Communication is much more than what you say. In addition to words, you also communicate through:
Speak up when you are hurting, or you disagree with your partner.
Do not pretend to be happy if you are not. Honesty will help you and your partner to solve problems more efficiently.
The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationships.
We all show affection in different ways. These “languages” simply label those ways so you can understand people a little better.
Stay-in-love couples are authentic, open, and self-reliant, but they also urgently need one another at times. They trust each other won’t take advantage of their availability but know that when urgency calls, their partner will rapidly respond. Their mutual goals are to resolve and to reconnect, leaving distress behind as soon as possible.
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