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How to Identify and Learn from Your Mistakes
The 4 kinds of mistakes
- Stupid: Absurdly dumb things that just happen.
- Simple: Mistakes that are avoidable but your sequence of decisions made inevitable.
- Involved: Mistakes that are understood but require effort to prevent.
- Complex: Mistakes that have complicated causes and no obvious way to avoid next time.
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Learning from mistakes
You can only learn from a mistake after you admit you've made it.
Don't start blaming other people (or the universe) for the things that go wrong, because you distance yourself from any possible lesson.
How we perceive failure
We see mistakes and failure as shameful things. And we usually identify with them:
If I fail a test, then I am a failure. If I make a mistake then I am a mistake.
Learning from mistakes
It requires three things:
- Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes.
- Having the self-confidence to admit to them.
- Being courageous about making changes.
The 4 kinds of mistakes
- Stupid: Absurdly dumb things that just happen.
- Simple: Mistakes that are avoidable but your sequence of decisions made inevitable.
- Involved: Mistakes that are understood but require effort to prevent.
- Complex: Mistakes that have complicated causes and no obvious way to avoid next time.
Mistakes and humor
When you can laugh at your own mistakes you know you've accepted it and no longer judge yourself on the basis of one single event.
Humor loosens up your psychology and prevents you from obsessing about the past.
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Key Ideas
Beginner's Luck
Beginner's luck does not actually exist. Most of the time the beginner has a similar skill that aids them. Or the novice could be new to the task, but have tried it before and failed repeatedly.
Anything Is Possible
To the beginner, anything Is possible. They are not encumbered by experience and are willing to try out many possibilities and solve problems creatively.
The expert has narrowed down the possibilities and can become too comfortable with their own perspectives.
Experts Choke Under Pressure
When you are good at something, you're under pressure to perform at your level. This can put you under pressure.
A novice doesn't care particularly how they perform and don't feel any pressure to perform.
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Clarify what you really want
Noticing and admitting our mistakes helps us get in touch with our commitments--what we really want to be, do, and have.
Working on possible solutions, redefining what we want or...
You can be flawed and be loved
People who love and care about us will stick with us through all our flaws and floundering. Our not so perfectness is what makes us unique and we are loved for it. So we should give ourselves a break.
Accept your fallibility
Facing mistakes often takes us straight to the heart of our fears. And when we experience and face those fears, they can disappear.
When we are stuck and admit that we can't do it alone it sends a signal and opens the door for help to show up. People, resources, and solutions will appear, especially when we ask for help.
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Limiting Mistakes With Humor
Humor is a great psychological tool to get and keeping people on your side. Use it wisely, and use it often—especially when you screw up.
The next time you find yours...
The Tom Brokaw Method
... to recover from a mistake with humor:
- Acknowledge the mistake. There’s no hiding it now. Everyone saw!
- Correct the mistake. If it’s necessary, make whatever correction you need to get things back on track.
- Make a joke. Make fun of yourself. Get everyone laughing and they won’t care anymore.
- Move on! And don’t bring up your flub again until you’re totally in the clear.