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"We are obsessed (in popular culture) with beginnings of love, the magic meet-cute we call it, or the end of love, the tragic undoing and death and whatnot. But you want to focus on the drudgery of the middle, almost.
Often we think love is a feeling, that you spontaneously experience it. I think, ultimately, it is a skill that needs to be learned. We are not set up for that."
ALAIN DE BOTTON
98
304 reads
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"There is a cult of romanticism. It started in the 18th century, and it basically told people that everybody has a soul mate, everybody has somebody who will cure them of all loneliness.
We make the equation that, if you love me, you are supposed to understand me even if I don't e...
ALAIN DE BOTTON
108
361 reads
"Love gives us a ringside seat on somebody else's flaws. You will spot things that need to be mentioned.
The romantic view is to say 'If you loved me, you wouldn't criticize me'.
Actually, true love is often trying to teach someone how to be the best version of them...
ALAIN DE BOTTON
121
339 reads
"There are lovely moments in early childhood when your parent can guess pretty well what you need. In the early days of love sometimes, you will report an ecstatic feeling you have met someone who seems to understand you without you needing to speak.
So many problems of rel...
ALAIN DE BOTTON
103
341 reads
"One of the first things couples should do is rather than saying how perfect they are, they should say 'I'm crazy like this, how are you crazy?'.
Most of the time we make discoveries about how difficult people are at the moment when the difficulties have actually hurt us, therefor...
ALAIN DE BOTTON
119
510 reads
"Never believe anything is below you as a topic of discussion.
Often people insist their way is the way and refuse to have a discussion because they think it is not serious."
ALAIN DE BOTTON
82
369 reads
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