Self-imposed rules aren’t constraints - Deepstash

Self-imposed rules aren’t constraints

They’re good decisions made in batches—they’re behavioral boundary markers you get to position yourself, through your own experience and wisdom.

Despite our fear of rules, the feeling of acting in accordance with a well-considered personal rule is actually a palpable feeling of power and independence.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Wise People Have Rules For Themselves

We’ve all experienced the pain of living under unfair or unsympathetic rules, especially the ones imposed on us as children by teachers and grownups.

We fear the prospect of losing any of our freedom, and we tend to think of rules as devices that only constrain.

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This notion that personal rules constitute “forcing yourself” is just a way of dismissing self-discipline as a possibility, for oneself or others. 

For example: brushing your teeth every day doesn’t require any sort of forcing or obsessing, just dental hygiene standards you consider non-negotiable.

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Wherever they excel, they tend to have personal rules that they take very seriously:

  • Financially effective people tend to hold themselves to certain rules about money.
  • Fit, energetic people tend to have personal rules about health.
  • Productive people keep personal rules about work.

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Your quality of life improves when you set clear standards for how you live. 

You gravitate back towards “so-so” in any area where your standards are unclear. 

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RELATED IDEA

Money rules to increase your net worth
  1. Don't spend all your income at once: the easiest way to grow your bank account is NOT to spend it all.
  2. Know how the Economy works.
  3. Avoid debt; personal debt destroys your net worth like nothing else.
  4. Save as much as you can: find the figures that make you feel comfortable

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Unresolved conflicts

The idea that couples must communicate and resolve all of their problems is a myth. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes.

Some conflict is inevitable and there will always be certain things you don’t like about your partner or things you don’t agree with, and that this is fine. You shouldn’t let some disagreements get in the way of what is otherwise a happy and healthy relationship.

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Self-created struggles

See life as it is, without all the ideals and fantasies you’ve been preoccupied with.

The vast majority of our struggles are self-created, and we can choose to overcome them in an instant.

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